Some days you just need a quick rant to the world rather than bottling up anger until you have a proper full blown temper tantrum.

So I work in a supermarket. I won’t say the brand. Don’t want to get into trouble, not that anybody managerial will read this. Anyway in this supermarket I deal with customers daily. Bloody asshole customers who would have us wipe their arse for them if they could. I could write a book on them but instead I’m just going to write a short rant about one asshole customer today.

For some reason over the past few days we’ve had no courgettes in stock. We sell them loose, in a package and baby courgettes usually but all three are out of stock. Customers keep asking me if we have them and I keep immediately but politely saying “no we’re all out”. Maybe they think I just can’t be arsed to look but the truth is that I get asked this question every 20 mins and we only have deliveries once or twice per day so I just know without looking. This one asshole today stomps up to me and he’s fuming. I can see it in his face. I get prepared to offer a fake smile that more often looks like a frown but before I can move my facial muscles the guy asks in an offish way “no courgettes again!?”. Uh oh. I remember his face from the other day and he didn’t look happy then. I tell him I’m sorry but there must be a supply issue. He’s annoyed as it’s a wasted trip to have to come back again tomorrow with no guarantee they’ll be in stock then either. You see he’s got a recipe where it really requires courgettes. He tells me it’s not good enough. And says if it’s not in next time he comes he might ask to see the store manager to complain and he may be forced into shopping elsewhere in the hope to find some place that sells these elusive courgettes since we’re obviously a useless company. I remain polite the whole time and calmly apologise. I tell him I’ll find out what the problem has been and assure him that they’re supposed to be in at some point the next day. Calm on the outside. Bloody murderous on the inside.

You see, I find the whole thing fucking pathetic and infuriating for many reasons. Firstly and most obviously this situation is not my fault. I’m just some bottom of the rung employee with no control over such matters. Why give me shit for it? Like I personally made some fuck up? That pisses me off. I can’t even put it right – there’s literally nothing I can do. Secondly, though we live in an age where many foods are ready made and all about convenience these are fucking courgettes we’re talking about. They have to grow and need time to do so. If there is a supply issue it’s down to some farm somewhere. And many of the products sold in the major supermarkets use similar suppliers. It’s not even my company’s fault most likely. The courgettes just don’t exist yet. The demand has eaten all of the supply so what can you do? No point kicking off about it. I want a NES Classic Mini but I cannot get one. I don’t go bitching to Amazon about it since it’s not their fault Nintendo didn’t make enough. I even checked local stores for stock for him. All have zero stock. Obviously some issue beyond my department. Nothing can be done here.

Next on the annoyances about this confrontation is the fact that he is threatening me with shopping somewhere else. Does he think this bothers me? Oh his pennies are so important to my job right? He would not be missed. No singular person is at all important to a massive scale business. It’s like when you step on an ant and don’t realise. Their presence is just not missed as we’re not even aware of it. And for me personally if he shops somewhere else? Good. Lovely. Good riddance. One less whiny bitch to deal with.

Then there is the fact he’s making a big deal out of one particular ingredient. Yes there are no courgettes and he wants to make some kind of bake that involves them. No point crying over it if they’re not available. He needs to just move on to another recipe, move on to a different meal and move on with his life. Make something else. Buy a convenience meal since you’re demanding absolute convenience at all times. Have a goshdarn takeaway. There are many ways to stay alive by eating various foods. Lack of courgettes are seriously not a problem. Think of kids starving in Africa you selfish prick. They have no hope of making your recipe because they have none of the ingredients and also have none of anything else either. We’re lucky we live in a world where we can almost always buy anything we want and eat whatever we want whenever we want. Getting irate about courgettes? I find it very hard to sympathesize with a plight so slight.

The main reason this customer made me want to make him bite a curb was due to the fact that he’s talking to me like a piece of shit. Forget this customer-employee bullshit for a second. I’m a human and he’s a human. We should talk to each other with respect. Customers walk into a shop and think they always have right of way with their trolleys and we’re at their beck and call and we largely act like that is right. But it isn’t right. I’m just a guy trying to earn some cash to pay my bills and I don’t deserve to be treated like I’m beneath some courgette-recipe-making-wannabe-tosspot. If we were in a bar and I was stood there with my beer would this same guy come over and speak to me with such careless anger? Doubtful. But he thinks he’s a level above me when in the store as he’s paying for some carrots that I’m handling. Out in the real world I could be anyone. I could give him this rant I’m typing to his face and make him either feel like a fool or realise he’s just spoken out of turn to somebody who’s a few sarnies short of a proper goddamn picnic. I could be the kind of dude who might kick off right back and punch him in his stupid bloody head couldn’t I? Customers should not forget that they’re not dealing with computers here but are in fact dealing with humans that may or may not be emotionally stable and may or may not react with professionalism and may or may not shove a courgette up their arse if we ever stock them again. He should shop around. Maybe our competitors have been better able to woo the godforsaken courgettes out of the bastard Earth and he can have his stupid meal and feel like a King. Life is too short to worry about stupid courgettes and it’s definitely too short to be writing rants about the lack of them. Rant over.

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Positive Insane Attitude


Yay! A positive stream of words is about to flow through me onto the internet designed to contribute towards enabling our collective conscious Oneness to vibrate at a higher frequency!

Hopefully that introduction made you feel a little bit sick in your mouth. Like positivity does to me lately. This will not be a positive post. This is a very negative review of positivity. I feel positively negative about positivity and positive thoughts cause me to feel additional negativity and this trend is increasing exponentially. I think I must be vibrating at a very low frequency lately.

Obviously positive thinking can be really beneficial. It’s better to have a good outlook on life as we all want to be happy and keep stress levels low. If you’re a positive person to be around then people warm to that and the good vibes keep flowing in an on-going snowball effect. Happy thoughts usually lead to more happy thoughts and the hormones involved are great for your health. So just what is my problem with positivity? The problem is that many people have realised just how positive a thing it can be to think positively. And they’re trying to cash in on this fact which has lead to a rise in inauthentic positivity where people are using this outlook to enhance their own lives while the people being lead by them get nowhere.

There are limits to what a positive attitude can achieve. It’s not magic. You cannot literally move mountains just by thinking and believing it. But it does have results. The more often you say yes to new situations the more likely you are to achieve and get closer to your goals in theory. People know this. And these people have come up with a game plan to get rich. They act overwhelmingly positive (that word is such an annoying word to type too) in all of their social media posts. And what they’re trying to sell is this positivity. Some disguise themselves as some kind of spiritual guru and they preach this fake persona to the world where money means nothing and it’s all about believing in yourself and the Universe will provide. Except while saying that money doesn’t matter they’re selling books and t-shirts and charging extortionate amounts for “life counselling”. When spirituality bumps into capitalism the illusion reveals itself. There’s no escaping the need and desire for money. You can sit there all day meditating but you’ve still got to eat and pay your bills and no amount of positive thinking can change that. You’re under pressure to get new customers. It’s a business. And a con. We can think positively without making somebody else rich for telling us the obvious.

These assholes that sell positivity are not always dressed up as gurus. Sometimes they’ve got a business suit on and at least admit it’s all about money like everything else is. These people tell you to project a successful image before you even truly have it as that will help you achieve it. They usually have a pyramid scheme and require a constant flow of gullible people to devour. Basically you have to sign up to their “business model” and then you yourself are automatically on an upward trajectory towards your dreams. They deliver to you whatever crap they are actually selling and with your positive attitude you sell it. You’re part of a network where you all artificially upvote/like/share each others posts and even comment with the most over the top excitement about the new product that is “about to explode”. I could forgive it all. We all want to get rich and if we have people out there selling our stuff for us then it’s understandable why people set these schemes up. But it’s seeing the utterly fake crap that they all write to each other that gets on my nerves. It’s as if people think they can just project this image and we’re all so stupid that we’ll have no choice but to be taken in and buy their crap and even join up to this network ourselves. Whenever I see this stuff I just look forward to the looks on the faces of these stupid bastards when life snuffs this fairy-tale bullshit out like it inevitably will.

The reality is probably that you’ve been talked into selling some expensive juice for some asshole at the top of the pyramid. The juice is probably organic and vegan as they’re currently desirable qualities in the market. You’re selling this shite to your facebook friends of which you have 400ish. Out of those 400 maybe 15 of them are intrigued and maybe three of them buy it one time. This earns you enough money to buy you a pint in your local as you attempt to get over the fact you were conned and even though you projected success and visualised it and talked the talk that success remained as elusive as it always has before. But that asshole at the top of the pyramid? You sold three juice orders for them. And another 100 daft sods sold 3-5 each also which they all kicked up to the “CEO”. He made enough money to live off. And that is his job. That is the way it always was/is/will be. It’s never about being positive and achieving your dreams. It’s about money and these people are themselves the product you’re putting your money in.

The very worst part about all this is the social media posts about it all. The gullible idiots that get involved are constantly posting stuff like they are on the brink of world domination. And we’re all supposed to sit back totally in awe of what they’re about to achieve. Hashtags are all over the place suggesting outrageous things. #oneteamtakeover. #inspireglobal. #onelifeliveit. #mystorystartsnow. It is so difficult not to ridicule this insane attitude. One team takeover? The only thing these people can possibly takeover is the facebook block list. Inspire global? It won’t even make it out of your household. One life, live it? Well that’s obvious and we don’t really have a choice there. And everyone’s story started when they were born and you are not a special snowflake. The people that comment on these posts are super enthusiastic as they are all part of the same stupid con. They post the same crap and the same few people comment the same superficial words that don’t actually mean anything. Do these idiots really think they can just convert the masses with a few embarrassingly enthusiastic comments? It’s true when people say if it were that easy we’d all be doing it. And I truly resent the fact that these schemers and dreamers insult our intelligence and see their supposed friends as potential ways to make money. It’s offensive to be honest and I’ve been a hair’s breath away from interrupting the takeover with the only real comment on their shower of shit nonsensical facebook posts. These posts are so out of place. No normal miserable posts are allowed with this new outlook on life. Everything is just wonderful even if it’s raining and even if Kim Jong-Un starts firing nukes everything is still just absolutely tickety-boo. Nothing can interrupt the pre-launch of a product about to dominate the galaxy. Pre-launch? Seriously? So it isn’t out yet and oooh the build up is building excitement and creating demand right? It’s all so dumb to try to act professional and smart when it’s obviously lame as all hell. I mean, is there going to be a pre-launch party for this pineapple smoothie or what? We can have a pre-launch party to celebrate that it will be launched and then have another party when it’s actually launched and then another party next year when you’re winning awards right? Haha. It’s a takeover! There are only 10 smoothies left until they are all SOLD OUT so grab yours while you can BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE! Sign up for this ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY! Come on now we all know there will still be 10 smoothies left until you drink them yourself in 2019…

Positivity is not something you can just use as a special ingredient to turn yourself into the next Elon Musk. Sometimes positivity really can be detrimental to your efforts. It gives us the illusion that we’re going forwards when we’re really standing still. There’s nothing wrong with standing still except when you project an image of moving at the speed of light. For instance one thing these super-smart-asshole-guru-entrepreneurs will say is to write a list of all your goals and then you can begin achieving them step by step. Sounds good doesn’t it? So there you are thinking of the car you want and the house you want and where you want to travel and who you want to be with and where you want to be in five years time. And you begin excitedly writing all these lovely ideas down in the order you wish to achieve them. Once you finish writing down your goals you will then begin systematically achieving them all one at a time and you can feel good because that list is the very beginning of the most exciting time ever in your life so far. Let me tell you what writing that list has really achieved: absolutely fuck all. You had some daft thoughts in your head and now you’ve put those daft thoughts on paper. That’s all you’ve done. I guess in a mundane way those thoughts that were floating about in your head have now actually manifested physically as they now also exist in ink on a piece of paper. But it’s likely that is as close to making your dreams become reality as you will ever get. People that write lists are busy writing lists. The truly driven people (they’re stupid too but that’s another story) who are really successful are too busy to be writing stupid lists. It reminds of me of when I was a kid and had an essay to do for homework. I’d put it off and procrastinate until the last minute when I really had no choice but to start work on it. Eventually I’d sit at the table and get my paper and pens out. I’d read the question. I’d write the title of the essay down on the paper. And then I’d underline it. After this little ritual I’d feel like I’d finally started the essay and I’d feel great about it. I’d be convinced that it wasn’t going to be such a pain to write after all and it was actually easy and I’d started with no drama at all. Feeling good about this start I’d go and make a coffee and find some music to put on to reward myself. And then I’d end up messing about listening to various songs and doing nothing for like another hour with only a title to show for my efforts with the whole essay still to do and time ticking away. The positive vibes were a hindrance. They say a start no matter how small is a start but not if it’s so small to be negligible. Don’t write lists. In fact we should avoid thinking about the future at all. Fuck your goals. There is only now and time is an illusion. It doesn’t matter how many juice or Avon orders you sell because you’re probably still a stupid asshole. Focus on just being less of an asshole in the here and now rather than writing lists about what moronic deeds you hope to achieve in the future you complete and utter fool.

Sometimes the illusion is so powerful for these people that they’ll say things like “nothing can stop me achieving my dreams, I’ll never give up as I’m far too determined”. That determination is actually another weakness. It’s better to realise you’ve failed and give up rather than remain trying to beat a dead horse and hoping it will beat Douvan. These people have it in their heads that not even failure can stop them and eventually they will succeed. It really is a nice sentiment. “The master has failed more times than the student has tried” and all that jazz. But when it comes to these schemes just by signing up to them you have already totally failed and yet failed to realise you’ve failed. And amidst this spectacular failure you’re strutting around like you’re about to knock out Floyd Mayweather. It’s just so irritating. And that’s why positivity needs to be reigned in a bit lately. Too much of anything is a bad thing, even those good ass vibes. Balance is important. Keep neutral. Feet should be in physical contact with the bastard Earth when things are going right and when you’re down feet still need to walk the Earth rather than swinging from a tree.

So that’s it. A negative review/rant about positivity. And after releasing all of these negative thoughts to this page I actually feel more positive myself. Like it was a cleansing. Maybe now I’m in the right frame of mind to write a list and try to sell some blended kale to the couple of friends I have and have my own takeover. Start small and end up smashing Amazon. My time is now people! Bear witness to what comes next! It all starts here! Step 1) log off internet and make a peppermint tea. Here we go! #werunthiscity #rememberthename #greatnessawaits #ilikepepperminttea





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Daily Bread

Therapy session 413.

I haven’t written here for over two months. Haven’t had a lot to say. There hasn’t been too much to motivate me lately. Other than Glastonbury and the odd social event here and there.

I’m feeling pretty crap on this bland Sunday evening. It’s times like this where I would love to have a big group of friends and acquaintances that were always available. I wish to just be able to walk into my local pub and see so many familiar faces that after my beer has been poured I have to pause and decide which conversation I’m going to join first. Just one big, tight group of pals that have been through highs and lows over the years. The kind of group where maybe not all of them are always out but at least some of them are always in that local pub at any given time. And you don’t even need to text or ring them to find out where they are or what the plan is. It’s simply a case of deciding you fancy meeting up with your pals and going to the local where the group always goes. It would always be handy to take your mind off things. There would never be any need to wallow in your own self-pity like I currently am. Stupid.

It’s just hard some days to see the answers to problems of your own making. If my brain is the problem then how do I use my brain to fix my problems since it is the very cause in the first place? I used to at least have some vague aims in life. Move somewhere, do something different. Now I can’t be bothered to move and yet also don’t want to stay. I don’t want to move up. Going down is not an option since I’m at the goddamn bottom anyways. Sideways is sometimes nice for a change but even that seems pointless now. Some days I speak to nobody and nobody speaks to me and I like it. Some days that happens and I hate it and just need to do something. But then if I do something some days I just wish to be alone again. Just totally restless. I want to do things but when doing things I want to do nothing.

It’s daft and I know all of these thoughts are temporary. These days where I feel like this are as bad as it ever gets and in the grand scheme of things it isn’t too bad relative to some of the shit that people have to endure. I shouldn’t moan. It’s just a bit of mental illness. It’ll be fine.

I just need a break. They say that you have to get up and make things happen but I don’t seem capable of doing that so I really just need the Universe to fix it all for me. There has to be some purpose out there and so I’m going to write now to a higher power. Call it The Universe. Call it God. Called it a Supreme Creator. It doesn’t matter and It probably doesn’t exist. But if It does exist then I want to talk to the Son Of A Bitch.

Dear Universe/God/Whatever,

You may not exist at all as I have no clue about why we’re here and whether You caused it or some other mystery is to blame. If You exist then I guess You wanted us to figure out our own meaning but I’m struggling with that. If You don’t exist then I’m just talking to myself right now which doesn’t hurt. Just a bit more wasted time. But let’s say for argument’s sake that I’m not acting like a total retard right now and You are actually reading these words as if I’m sending you an e-mail. First off, hello. I would love it if You would communicate with me in some way. But this can’t be in some really vague way as I may not notice it or understand. It needs to be clear instructions that cannot be mistaken. Otherwise any random stupid thought from my own ridiculous brain could be the cause of my actions instead of your Divine Will since I would miss your point and do my own thing assuming it was what You wanted. So be clear.

Why should You communicate with me? Well, there are billions of people that believe that You are communicating with them. If that is true then it doesn’t seem fair. Why can’t I have these revelations? Is it something I’ve done wrong? If so, You could just tell me what I did to piss You off so I can refrain from doing it in future.

Also, You can be frank with me. I know the Bible is bollocks and is definitely not Your Word. I know anybody who tells me to look for You there is misguided. It would be cool if You could explain to the World that the Bible is nonsense since it’s so frustrating to see an ancient and inaccurate document be used to make people think they’re doing what You want them to when really they’re making it up as they go along and just doing whatever the hell they want anyway.

So with clear instruction is there anything You would like me to do? Since You went to the effort to create this complex Universe and included me in it (which I am really grateful for) then there must be something I can do for You right? I’m missing the point so far. The things I’ve felt like were my purpose have been shown to be redundant. So I’m clearly a dumbass. They say listen to yourself and follow your dreams. I don’t know what my dreams are anymore. I’m just aimless and frustrated. So I ask with sincerity for your guidance. E-mail me the answers. You definitely have the power to do that and it would be impolite to not reply to me and also if You are really such a good Being then You won’t turn somebody away when they ask for help surely. If You don’t reply You either don’t want to and that is definitely not good or You cannot do it and that means You have no power or influence in this world. Or it means You can’t reply because You don’t exist. Since by creating the Universe you proved your power we can rule it out that You cannot do it. So You either don’t exist or You hate me. It really is that simple. It’s proof that You are either evil or a lie. And either option there is not great for anybody. We’re either governed by an evil psychopath or we’re all totally without guidance or purpose. If You really don’t exist then I’ll just have to carry on with my own current path which is a downward spiral to utter self destruction in the most mundane way possible. Anyway, hope all is well with You and I look forward to settling this matter. You know my email address. Good day to You, peace.


…There we go. That is my prayer. I would feel daft actually saying a prayer so thought I’d write it all. It was something to do. It did take my mind off my confusion. I hate to be wrapped up in my own issues. I just cannot take feeling inadequate all the time. I need to find my home in this world if there is such a place. We all need purpose.

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As I write this we are two days away from the 2017 General Election to decide who will be in government for the next 5 years. I’ve been so caught up in it all it’s almost all I’ve thought about since this election was called. And in a few days it will all be over and an outcome will be known.

In some ways I miss the days where I didn’t care much about politics. It was so much easier to just think that all politicians are useless and to not really mind who won. I used to just have a favourite leader and would back that person based on how stately they seemed. So I liked Blair and therefore liked Labour. However I preferred David Cameron at the time to Gordon Brown and wasn’t displeased at having a change in government in 2010. By 2015 I hated Cameron but also didn’t think much to Ed Miliband and so didn’t vote. I’ve never voted in anything except for the EU Referendum. But in 2015 during the Labour leadership contest between Andy Burnham, Yvette Cooper, Liz Kendall and Jeremy Corbyn I got drawn into politics in a massive way. For the first time ever I saw a politician who really resonated with me as he did with many others. As I’ve matured I’ve become far more liberal with my views and have ended up fully believing that left wing politics is the way forward for everybody and Corbyn is the first leader I’ve ever known to seem to really believe in what he says and what we hope for. It was a surprise to me that after starting off the leadership contest as an outsider he seemed to quickly become the favourite as people listened to him and started to support him. I was one of those that swiftly became a member of Labour to vote for him. And since then he’s had to battle the media and his own parliamentary party as well as the government constantly and he’s done it admirably. I despised the fact Labour MP’s tried to oust him despite massive support from members. He deserves a united team and a fair crack at a General Election before anybody should even think about a change in leadership. And here we are. After nearly two years of supporting the movement we are two days from judgement day. Was all of the support and momentum just for nothing?

Well, it seems like that may be the case. It isn’t easy to fight the constant bullshit from the papers. Social media has been doing a great job of balancing it all out by constantly challenging every little piece of propaganda. It’s actually kind of fun at times although at other times it can drive you crazy. I’m starting to think a free press is maybe not such a great thing. People are too gullible to have papers freely printing total lies. You should always be able to give opinions but I don’t think printing something that isn’t a fact as a fact should be allowed anymore. The truth should be all that matters and if people have the truth and all of the relevant information about a topic then they should be able to make up their own minds. Yet that often isn’t the case. A paper will print a lie and say it is the truth and people will believe it. We’re all capable of doing our own research yet many of us are lazy it seems. The amount of people that believe Jeremey Corbyn is an IRA supporter who is anti-British is astounding and I’ll challenge that shit wherever I see it. Gullible people lap this up and believe in the Tory propaganda and so are sheep marching towards their own slaughter. There are three types of Tory voter from what I can see. 1) The rich and powerful who want to keep their taxes low whilst keeping wages low and they do not give a crap about the majority of people or public services since they only selfishly care about themselves and the people around them. 2) Gullible idiots who actually believe that Corbyn is a maniac and a lunatic and the Tories are sensible and looking out for us while dealing with a difficult financial situation that conveniently seems to be lasting forever. 3) A reasonable human that defies all possible explanation as they aren’t selfish and aren’t stupid but for some incomprehensible reason seems to think that the Tories are better for everyone when compared to Labour. This third category are a strange breed to me as it means I am misguided and on the wrong side and so having done my own research I have made wrong assumptions and need to seriously have a re-think about why I am so stupid. Yet this seems not to be the case as every statistic I come across seems to support the fact that the NHS is underfunded, the national debt is rising, there is a housing crisis, there are many cuts to the police force and all of this is under the current government who also want foxes to be ripped apart for their own pleasure.

Despite these facts as soon as the election was called people wrote off Labour’s chances and a massive Conservative win was predicted with a much increased majority. My own constituency is an ex-mining community that was battered by the Tories and yet it is widely predicted that the Tories will win here for the third straight election. The area doesn’t have many millionaires so it means I’m living in a place where the majority of my fellow humans are gullible or misguided. It drives me mad to constantly debate the issues with some of these people and be unable to make them see sense. For when it comes to this topic of who should rightly win this election I have never in my life been so sure of anything. I’m so sure that we all need a Labour win. I believe in it more than I believe that smoking is daft and illogical. I believe in Labour more than I believed in remaining in the EU and I was 99.8% sure that that was the right thing to do also. I believe Labour are good for the British people in the same way I believe water is good for the people. It is totally black and white for me. Theresa May keeps saying we have a clear choice and she is damn right there. It’s like being asked if you’d rather have a hug or a punch in the face. Except more people are begging for a punch in the face rather than choosing a hug. When in the voting booth it says as much about a person as when looking in the mirror. You will find out who you really are. Many people have an inner bastard at times. And the inner bastard comes out in that booth for all who vote for that toxic bunch of fraudulent and lying arseholes.

What is mad to me also is that Theresa May during this election has said nothing of substance at all. Her party offers nothing. They even freely admit that they will take more from everybody with total faith that the people are so suitably brainwashed that none of the malice they come up with for us will matter. She bangs on about having a strong hand to negotiate the best deal for Brexit and yet she cannot even debate her opponents or answer any questions from the public. She had a meeting with Jean-Claude Juncker about Brexit and it didn’t go well at all. Further evidence that she lacks the finesse these talks will require. This election is about Brexit but not in the way she claims it is. She knows that when we leave the EU in 2019 times will be hard and the British public will feel it. She knows there will be a backlash against the current government and from 2019 to the 2020 election there wouldn’t have been enough time to sweeten up the Sheeple again and so the Tories would have been booted out emphatically. This election was called during a time that Labour were perceived to be weak and so that after Brexit she has until 2022 to butter up the masses again. The Tories will never let go of this power and every rich asshole that prints propaganda and gives out millions in donations are there to see that the rich and powerful always remain that way to the extent that the gap between the elite and the working class is getting wider all the time. Eventually we have to fight back and why not now? Why not on Thursday upset the apple cart and actually narrow the gap? We’re all born equal and we can take nothing of this world to the grave so why are many people struggling to have a roof over their head and buy food while some people are partying on a yacht 24/7 whilst being propped up by a working force that is grossly underpaid and undervalued? It isn’t right and a Labour win is the peaceful and easiest way to address this issue just a little tiny bit. The alternative is eventual bloody riots. People will not let the NHS crumble. All we need is for the masses to wake the hell up and the system comes crashing down. Surely the elite must realise they have to filter some of that wealth back into the system via tax? Hard work should be rewarded definitely but it’s just ridiculous at the moment. The elite don’t seem to understand that without a population capable of buying the products or services that a company offers they wouldn’t be in the lofty position they are fortunate to find themselves in. And yet they under fund the NHS and sell parts of it off. When we all fucking pay for it and need it. Everywhere you look there is this rhetoric of needing to watch the pennies. Everywhere you look there are cuts and closures. Everywhere you look the price of living is rising faster than wage growth. And despite all this the debt is growing and bankers are taking massive bonuses while we continue to bomb all hell out of the Middle East and then moan and blame immigrants for the occasional psychopath blowing themselves up on our land when it’s the immigrants that are carrying the damn NHS on their backs. It’s just too much bullshit to tollerate and I can’t even put it into a consistent argument without going into a tangent due to some other injustice that comes to the forefront since all of the bullshit is weighing so heavily and crushing us all from every bastard angle.

Also usually in a choice like this I see a right option and an “interesting” option. Remain in the EU was right but Brexit is a huge change and was the interesting choice. Trump is a terrible President but it’s at least interesting. The Tories are not only wrong but also utterly boring. Corbyn is not only right but also a change and a breath of fresh air. It’s the interesting choice. The anti-establishment option. It’s an added bonus. If he fucks it all up (which he won’t) then we’ll go back to some more central Labour leader and go back to the boring Tory vs Tory Lite elections. But for once can we not see if we can ever have a progressive socialist in power?

Basically, the Tories need to go. Their whole manifesto is a total shower of shit. And Jeremy Corbyn is the answer. He reminds me of how the Jews treated the old JC in some ways. Jesus was one of their own. He preached peace and love and wisdom. And the people hated Him for it and had Him executed. That’s what it’s like being a working class dude in Tory Britain today. One of our own has come to help us out and he has a 40 year record that is untarnished. Every single time he votes on anything it is the admirable choice he goes for and even when his choices have been unpopular at the time they have proven to be right later on as the guy is ahead of his time. He’s truly noble and honest. He’s loyal and hard working and the strongest leader I’ve seen in politics. He listens to people and genuinely has compassion for the people. In his constituency he is untouchable. That says a lot right? The people that he’s been working for over the decades consistently vote him back in and nobody gets close. The Labour members and grassroots members of momentum back him unequivocally. And yet many of the people that he would help would nail him to a cross given the chance. People call him a traitor and a lunatic and soft and will vote for the enemy.

But maybe they won’t. While there is still time there is still hope. And the fact that the gap in the polls has been closed so quickly speaks wonders about the fact that when people hear the message they are receiving it well. It was a foregone conclusion but maybe it will be closer than they thought. If Theresa May doesn’t extend her majority that will be a form of victory. In the face of ridicule  and with predictions of a 100+ majority to go through the campaign and not secure a strengthened hand will at least make her look stupid and show her arrogance was misplaced. But we need more than that. We need to fight for every vote in every constituency. And I hope people think tactically. If the Liberal Democrats are comfortably better placed to take a Tory seat than Labour are then I hope people vote for them instead. If you’re a Lib Dem fan and yet Labour are the only chance of winning the seat in your constituency then I hope you understand that your vote for Lib Dem is wasted there and join forces with Labour voters to ensure we win there. There are many parties vying for the progressive vote but only two parties for the nasty vote and one of them is UKIP who are being read their Last Rites. So voting tactically is crucial. Every Labour, Green and Lib Dem voter would prefer there to not be a Tory government. I would be happy for a coalition government between these parties but Corbyn has ruled this out. So the only outcomes for the election are Tory majority, Tory-lead coalition, Tory minority, Labour majority or Labour minority. A Labour majority is highly unlikely. So the most likely and maybe only possible non Tory government is a Labour minority. And the only way this happens is if the progressive left rises to smash these bastards and take as many seats as possible. If you see The Sun or Daily Mail lying (lol) around the staff room put it in the bin. Put all Tory propaganda in the bin. Keep all their activists busy. Challenge anything that isn’t factual and spread the Labour message.  I really hope we fight the fucking system and give them the middle finger.

I could write until my fingers drop off about how every view Jeremy Corbyn has seems logical, about every lie in every paper or about every fucked up policy Theresa May has (dementia tax? You’re serious?). But the information is out there. The facts cannot be changed. The truth is unwavering and it cares not one bit for any spin. And so I may as well wrap up this political rant that I meant to be something that I put some thought into so as to maybe persuade people to vote Labour but I was unable to do anything but show how bloody angry and passionate I am about this. That will have to do. I am nervous and excited and exhausted mentally with regards to June the 8th. All I can do is speak the truth that I know to whoever is around to hear it and vote and encourage others to vote. We’re so powerless individually but collectively is what matters. There is only one party that can win and that also truly cares about the collective and I hope the majority of the collective realise this come Thursday. If you’re on the fence then properly have a think about what’s best for you, your family and friends and the nation and then make an independent choice. I am fairly sure that the surge in Labour polls will make this a close contest but we will likely fall short unless something truly spectacular happens. And if it does then I’ll have been happy to have been the tiniest part of it. So for the good of the many and not just the few I urge everybody to consider voting for Labour in this election.

Peace and love x

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Words Unknown

I’ve always loved to learn new things. I miss school and college and uni and having lessons and homework and all of it. I guess I’ve never stopped learning though as I’m always reading about things. The curious itch to know information will never leave me and I’ll always have this enquiring nature which is mostly a blessing but sometimes a curse. It’s a total pain in the ass when you’re trying to sleep and end up reading about 50 wikipedia pages on various topics and a whole load of reviews about a film you’re considering watching until the birds start singing and dawn breaks. Mostly I just can’t help it though. I just have a need to know and it doesn’t require me to ever actually use what I do learn. It goes nowhere except to satisfy curiosity in the present moment. However it would be nice to use what I learn and it has been a while since I’ve given myself a challenge. I’ve also always wanted to learn a new language and like many other people it is a life goal. If you add this life goal into a pot with enjoying learning and needing a new challenge and hobby then the requirements are fulfilled and the path to being bilingual begins.

At school I did French and some German. The love of learning always lead me to  doing extra classes so I did German as an extra class in break times and after school for a couple of years but never did it to GCSE level. I did French throughout school and enjoyed learning it and felt pretty good at it as a 16 year old. I knew I’d never need it though and that was that. It fades away. Although many phrases and verbs are still knocking around in my head somewhere. And I can still count in French. It would be so great to be totally fluent in another language instead of just knowing the basics. First you need to decide which language you feel like adopting. Since I’ve already done a load of French in the past there are pros and cons to choosing it. I would probably pick it up again quite quickly with the base knowledge I still have. So that would save time and effort. However, it’s the least challenging. More challenging would be Spanish as I’ve never done any Spanish at all. However since it stems from the same Romance language as French did it would probably be the second easiest. I don’t want an easy ride and Spanish seems so obvious as it is a popular language. I thought it’d be great to learn something totally crazy like Finnish but having looked at just how bat-shit crazy their language seems I think it is too challenging and I’d give up in frustration. When you weigh up all the pros and cons of all the languages you realise you’re only really left with French, Spanish, German, Italian and Portuguese as the realistic whilst also desirable options. And with the exception of German each of those languages is a gateway to knowing much of the others too. So sod it, I’m choosing the obvious. Spanish it is.

In the end a big factor in choosing Spanish was football. La Liga is massive and I often watch it on some daft stream where the commentary is in Spanish.I follow some Spanish speaking footballers on social media and so see Spanish there too  It sounds like a beautiful language. Every English speaking person knows a whole bunch of Spanish words already and they all just sound pretty cool to say. Even words that are almost the same in Spanish as in English just sound more poetic somehow. Like La Policia or estupendo. Imagine writing Spanish poetry – it would flow so well. I’d love to visit Barcelona and I’ve never yet set foot in South America and would love to travel around there someday. It all just makes sense to learn this language and be a Spanish speaking dude. I have far off aims of writing blogs here in Spanish too. It’s going to require a lot of dedication and determination though but after a few days of studying it a bit I’m finding I enjoy it. I’ve changed my facebook language settings to Spanish and been trying to read BBC’s website in Spanish. Sometimes I can get the gist of what is being conveyed and other times I’m clueless and just guessing. Also been listening to ASMR in Spanish, though they talk so fast. It’s all good fun though and a cool hobby. I’ve got hours of podcasts to listen to, the Duolingo app on my phone, loads of online resources via Reddit and Spanishdict translate. Just need something to enable me to practice writing exercises now really. And a whole load of time.

I thought about seeking out some kind of real class to go to but I’m cocky enough to think I can do it without. Words are just patterns and I don’t think you need to be taught much to learn a language unless you totally lack motivation or it breaks many of the rules you’re used to from your native language. Spanish has a couple of curve balls but nothing major from what I gather. Masculine and feminine is something I got used to from French. Putting descriptive words after the noun takes a little getting used to but not too difficult. And there are a few crazy accents and symbols. Like this sonofabitch letter: ñ. Also I’m starting to think I’ll never be able to roll my r’s but I’ll keep trying like a moron. Why won’t the tongue just flap about when I tell it to? How do other people do it? No idea but it’s part of the fun. It is starting to drive me crazy though as I sometimes do it but can’t control it. I must have watched 30 YouTube videos on how to do this trilled r thing but it’s so hard. In English we never need this sound so often lose the ability to do it. I remember as a kid doing this machine gun sound with the tongue and that is apparently close if you were to do it more softly yet I now can’t do that machine gun sound that I used to do all the time. At first I thought this trilled r was just a cool part of the Spanish accent but have come to realise that you actually need this sound to be able to distinguish between certain words. For example Pero without the rolled r means “but” and Perro with the rolled r means “dog”. How very frustrating. But all good fun. AarrrrrRrrRRrggghhhhh.

I don’t expect to be able to be decent at Spanish for a fair while. So it all depends on staying motivated to do it and there’s a definite chance that after a few months I realise that it’s easier to not bother and give up. Right now though it feels like something I really want to do. There’s something about seeing how certain words relate to English and other languages. It makes you realise how connected everyone was when these major languages started spreading through regions and countries during conquests in the past. It’s good to appreciate other cultures and other people. And there have been so many occasions where I’ve been abroad and just felt totally lazy for only speaking English whilst the locals also speak decent English to us as well as other languages to other tourists. If some people can speak many languages surely I can fit two in my brain. There’s a lack of a need for many English people to speak another language since we’re lucky enough to have the rest of the World who are either native speakers of our language already or have become fluent in it as a second language. We’re lucky there. But also missing an opportunity to gain a cool skill and unlock the potential to communicate with many other people around the globe that we wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise. And since I often feel like running away from the town I live in and heading south for some more sun maybe I’ll run south all the way to Spain. Probably not. But living abroad for a while is another life goal. Not that I ever actually achieve many of these life goals. Let’s just learn the language first. And then write a Spanish blog. And maybe visit Barcelona and order una cervaza.

Anyway. That’s my latest daft idea. Hasta luego 🙂


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Review of Ridiculous Ramblings



Before Facebook, in another life time, there was a website called Myspace. I loved Myspace. The internet seemed to spring up out of nowhere and change from a bit of a gimmick into the essential tool it became in a very short space of time. It was like one day I was at school unsure of what to do on the internet and trying to think of a cool website to go to before waiting five minutes for it to load and then not much later we’re all constantly online and connected and wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves without it. The full impact of how much the internet had changed things became apparent when I was 18 years old and had moved away to Liverpool for University. We all had MSN Messenger and though we all lived far apart we could talk constantly when we were in our separate flats through out the UK. It still wasn’t like how it is now where this technology has improved and evolved and now fits in our hands but it was still mind blowing at the time.

Then came social media. Myspace and Bebo were around before Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and all the rest. Myspace was just incredible. We all had our own website page and we could decorate it however we wanted, upload pictures, post comments, post bulletins, have our profile songs, fill in quizzes, send private messages to friends. And write blogs. Before this blog here there was that blog there over at Myspace. These words were written from the ages of 18 to 21. Eventually Facebook came along to compete with Myspace and although I got a Facebook profile I was so loyal to Myspace until well into 2008 even when it became obvious that Facebook would overtake and destroy Myspace. But there came a day when I felt compelled to leave Myspace forever as I wanted to close a chapter of life fully and firmly. I’m pretty sure the date was the 15th August 2008 and on this day I went to see friends in Liverpool for a week determined to look to the future. The way I got rid of Myspace ensured I could never log back in. It was attached to my University email which was about to be closed since I’d left University by then. I changed my password to a random line of letters and numbers and wrote them down on paper so that I could then type them back in to confirm the password change. Then as I walked to the train station to go to Liverpool with a cigarette I burned the paper so I’d never know the password and never be able to get an email to recover the password since I was about to lose access to the email address. So dramatic. Typical of me.

None of that would really matter. It’s only a social media site and anyway, everybody had gone to Facebook now. What really mattered to me though was the blogs I wrote. There must have been over 100 and though I remember many of them were total crap where I just moaned about lack of motivation and worries for the future like I do now, at the time I felt like I’d also written some good things about how I felt and come to many realisations. I always feel that through each blog post as you go through time you can see yourself slowly evolve and grow as a person. The Uni years were a huge chapter for me. But all was cool. Myspace still existed and though I could never log in I could still go onto my Myspace page and view the blogs. Though I never did really visit and re-read them I planned to one day copy them all and save them somewhere else. But then Myspace changed it’s whole layout and became some really crap music site that nobody cares about and all blogs and profile layouts were gone. That sucked. I was so annoyed. I guess once we share stuff on a website it belongs to them in a way and they can do whatever they like.

Recently though I decided to attempt to get back logged in and see if they could be recovered as they must be somewhere. I had to fill in a form and explain the change in email and wait for a few days but they sorted it out and linked me back to my old page. I logged in and it’s sad to see Myspace is what it is now. But they have an option to request your old blogs for download. Obviously I clicked that option. After a week they email me to say they’re available for download and yay I have them back! My plan was to post them all here on a separate page tab of this WordPress blog but I thought I’d re-read them first. I’m so glad I didn’t just post them without re-reading them because holy crap I was nuts back then. It gave me a lot to think about and I’ll try so sum it up here now.

Firstly I was surprised at how many blogs I’d wrote. I must have been writing them every couple of days at some points. The next thing that I couldn’t believe was that in the earlier one’s I wrote many words in text speak. That is something that I hate and I would never do now and never thought I ever did do in the past but there it was. Doing was doin. Something was sometimes sumfink. Also, I cannot believe how much swearing there was. It shows a lack of vocabulary really. The thing is you’d think I was at the peak of my intellect then since I’d only just left school and college and other than Maths I’ve done nothing academically since and had no reason to write other than messages to people and blogs. Yet I re-read what I wrote and it’s like I was totally dumb as hell back then. And naive. I thought I knew it all. I was self-centred in a really annoying way. I was brutally honest and gave too much away. It’s clear that I’m a different person now. It’s for others to judge if we change for the better or not but I did not like much of what I read that I’d wrote.

One thing I never do now is sit down to write a blog without a clue about what I will write. If you have nothing to say then just keep quiet. Sometimes I have things that I want to write about and that is when I write. Back then I remember sometimes just feeling like I’d write a blog for something to do so I’d click on the option to write one and just sit there and think of sentences to write. And so much of it is just mundane, self-centred crap. The earliest posts are raps that I wrote. I read them now and cringe. The influence of Eminem shows far too much. The rhyming is nothing special and there’s that honesty that is just too much. Some things are better left unsaid but I didn’t care for that back then. It’s that rap influence mixed with my youthful naivety that gave me the attitude of wanting to “be real” and “not giving a fuck”. Now I doubt many are truly “real” and I most definitely do care what people think. Surely we all do and I know I did back then though I felt like I needed to act like I didn’t.

Some of the blogs are decent snapshots of what was going on at the time and brought some memories flooding back. That was cool. Though I get angry at myself now when I read about how I knew I should care more about exams and start thinking about a career but was too busy getting wasted all the time and laying around doing nothing. At that age you feel as if you have such a huge amount of time ahead of you that you can afford to piss around and future you will pick up the pieces. Well present me is pissed off with past me for not giving a fuck about future me. It’s interesting that sometimes I seemed to realise that if I don’t feel ambitious whilst doing my degree then maybe my ambition was already dead. Some self-awareness seems to creep in throughout these blogs. Some nihilism and philosophy start to creep in throughout the anger and confusion. Themes of anti-theism start to dominate later blogs. I attempt to write chaotic things where I contemplate what it would be like to lose grip on reality. Some of these blogs still interest me now and it is interesting to see how I went from mostly writing rants aimed at people and the World and gradually seemed to calm down and become more reflective. It’s evidence of growing as a person which we all do during that period of life.

The present me has changed his mind when it comes to how much of our thoughts we should put on social media. I think it’s daft when people are so wrapped up in their own world that they almost put every waking thought out there for everybody to see. Being self-centred and narcissistic is quite a lame characteristic to indulge in. It can go too far when we’re tagging ourselves in every step of our day and living life through a lens rather than our own eyes. And the past me reminded me of these character traits that I dislike so much. Every few days just going on about problems like anybody cares. It’s like people on Twitter just spewing out nonsense believing there are legions of fans hanging on to every word and just waiting for the next episode in the drama of life. But life is mundane. Nobody is really interested in what we’re up to or what we’re going through or what we’re thinking. That’s not cynical – it’s just truth. We scroll down our social media homepage and barely pause except to look at a gif of a kid getting knocked over by a dog so we can have a chuckle. We may throw a few “likes” out and comment on a few things but the vast majority of what every person and every page posts is just garbage and doesn’t impact our lives in the slightest. It’s good to realise this as we grow as people. It keeps us humble. Don’t moan because there are people worse off than you and nobody cares. Don’t brag because your life is mostly shit and nobody cares. Stay humble. Keep your darkest secrets and inner-most desires to yourself and outwardly give support or occasionally criticism to those around you. That is how I now feel it is best to behave on social media. Not like back in the day when I didn’t give a fuck and would attack and attack like a keyboard gangsta and moan and grumble and whine and bitch that the world didn’t understand me. Being understood is overrated. I felt a need to defend myself to a world that barely even registers I exist let alone gives a damn about the alleged complexities of my own daft mind. It’s an absurd thing to do to defend oneself in such a way. Nobody’s watching anyway and that’s true for us all. We spend too much time worrying about what others think not realising that others are just thinking of themselves and worrying what others think of them. We don’t give others much thought and yet think that is not the same when it comes to you because you’re special and people are shocked by you or confused by you or amazed by you. Nobody cares. I’m disappointed in myself that I didn’t grow up and learn this stuff more quickly. But I was young and foolish as we all are at some point.

Still though I am glad I wrote them. It’s good to compare and contrast. You get to see where some parts of you faded away and where some parts of you began. Some of them are so cryptic I barely even know what I was writing about now but there is the odd interesting point I make in the vast ocean of overly dramatic insanity. I think I will post a few of the ones that aren’t too cringe-worthy or incriminating. I like the philosophical ones I did. But most will be locked away in the labyrinth. I’m now pretty glad that Myspace took them all down. It was pretty cool though to take a trip down memory lane and though we should never live in the past it’s ok to visit from time to time and I’ve always travelled back more easily with words than pictures. And that’s why I write these things. It’s all about the snapshots. One day I’ll be 40 years old and re-reading these and cringing but remembering and comparing and contrasting. We’re always learning and ever growing. Some people say never look back. But how do you know which way is forwards if you don’t know where you’ve been and how do you know what to leave and what to take with you?


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Idealism Is Not Ideal


February 14th 2017. Valentine’s Day. I always have the same little rant about this calendar event but in reality if things were different for me with the whole love thing then I’d probably be a stupid, romantic asshole for the day like many others. It is a con and a load of bullshit and just people conforming to the norms of society for the benefit of retailers and restaurants but I guess if it brings some pleasure then what the hell eh? Buy a card, and the overpriced-and-certain-to-die flowers and some chocolates and the teddy and have a meal. It’s all good fun.

Youth fades for us all and the blessing and curse of this is that we gain experience and wisdom. Wisdom is sometimes a hindrance but there’s no denying truth so it must be accepted. I’ve always had this stupid dumbass belief in an idealistic type of love. Like it’s a once in a lifetime thing that will blow your mind and change you forever. All of the films and all of the songs are right. There will be a fateful day where you have a random encounter with The One and everything will make sense and you can be happy for the rest of your days with all problems and triumphs shared until the end of time. Even possibly beyond this Earthly existence. Where an unbreakable bond with your soulmate completes you as you build a home and a life together. I guess for some currently under the spell this has so far been true and maybe it will last forever. Reality is what your mind makes it. If you can believe it then it can be real. Our experiences dictate what we can believe. It can cause a loss of belief. And then you start to see the whole thing as a joke. You see the emotion for the temporary insanity that it is as chemicals are firing off in your brain when in the presence of The One. You understand the delusion you give yourself and the trap that you willingly walk into to ensure that you have children with this other human you have chosen against your will. This doesn’t mean that you have to be pessimistic about things. You can enjoy the madness of it all whether you see an illusion or something real. A joke does not have to be truthful for it to be funny or enjoyable.

I admit though that I preferred it when I believed in the illusion. The potential pain is a risk worth taking for the chance at something that will fix everything. Even though nobody can really fix anything for anybody but themselves. There are benefits though when shedding this idealistic philosophy of love. For example I no longer believe that it’s a once in a lifetime occurrence. It’s rare but can happen multiple times in a lifetime. And the craziest thing of all is that if or when it happens or has happened again I believe you will forget to remember that it’s all an illusion. It will be the same old shit that you ended up believing last time but you’ll forget and believe that last time was a mistake and not the real thing but this new thing is the first time ever that it is actually totally the real thing. Just like when we’re born we forget that we’ve been born before and life is just a circle and we’ve been through all of this infinite times already yet we believe that this life is the one true life and all we have. It’s also similar to a panic attack. When we’re in a panic attack we think we’re having a heart attack and are about to pass out and die any second. This one is not a panic attack this time like all of the others – this one is real. Until we remember that panic attacks are powerful illusions and we calm down and laugh about it until the next time. Only the current panic attack matters. Only the current moment matters. Love is panic inducing.

So we carry on. In search of something we’ll never find until we find it and not realise it because that wasn’t what we were looking for. And when we find what we weren’t looking for we’ll swear to ourselves that we were looking for that exact thing, that exact person with all of their qualities and flaws. It’s all random and inevitable. If you feel alone that will change because your own brain will change your reality. If you’re with The One then there is still a potential Two, Three and Four out there if it all goes FUBAR with One. There is something comforting about the loss of belief in favour of truth. It can all feel so powerful when we’re caught up in the spell. But whenever you step on Lego with bare feet that too can feel powerful in that moment. That too shall pass.

So I know more than I ever did before. When younger I thought I knew it all like I was born with a fountain of knowledge and all of my beliefs were unwavering and would stand the test of time. And time did indeed pass until I realised that I knew nothing and still know nothing and will never understand or know much about anything but maybe just knowing a little more is good enough. In thirteen years time I could look back on these words and throw my head back whilst roaring with laughter at the absurdity of it all just like I can look back thirteen years now and do the same. Wisdom is relative and we reach certain branches upon the tree of knowledge at different rates. Some hang around on the lower branches content and happy swinging about with no direction whilst some race to the top and fall and crash back to Earth. None of it really matters. Every direction is neither right or wrong.

I found that dreams can die but they can also be resurrected. Despair can overcome hope but never truly win. I can feel things I’ve felt in the past in present situations and it gives hope at the same time it terrifies me. I can feel myself slip into my old ways. My hands urge to write absurd things. My brain dreams up vivid and crazy dreams. Aimless hopes gain focus and direction as chemicals are exploding against my will. I realise that love is bullshit. But so is a panic attack. Both still convince us of their power in the present though even though we can look back on the past and see through it all. Both also give an absurd hope for the future. Resurrected dreams can die too but we can choose to ignore this piece of knowledge. All of this unique crap has happened before and will happen again. The words we write, the songs we listen to, the films we watch all prove this. Every human throughout history has been captivated by love multiple times. Maybe the next time you feel that magnetism around another human will be the one hundred trillionth time it has happened since we evolved into our current format. But for you that doesn’t make it any less powerful or real right now as you look at this other human and pin all of your hopes and dreams on them whilst hoping they don’t stamp on them, laugh and then run away without a care in the world. And today we celebrate the madness of it all. Fuck the shops and the meals and the presents and all of that shit. Be stupid and dare to dream for a while. Nothing will be ok. Nothing is ever ok at some point. But right now maybe it is and good luck to you with it. Good luck to us all. God knows we bloody need it.

Happy Valentine’s Day fellow believers in absurdities x

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