Some days you just need a quick rant to the world rather than bottling up anger until you have a proper full blown temper tantrum.
So I work in a supermarket. I won’t say the brand. Don’t want to get into trouble, not that anybody managerial will read this. Anyway in this supermarket I deal with customers daily. Bloody asshole customers who would have us wipe their arse for them if they could. I could write a book on them but instead I’m just going to write a short rant about one asshole customer today.
For some reason over the past few days we’ve had no courgettes in stock. We sell them loose, in a package and baby courgettes usually but all three are out of stock. Customers keep asking me if we have them and I keep immediately but politely saying “no we’re all out”. Maybe they think I just can’t be arsed to look but the truth is that I get asked this question every 20 mins and we only have deliveries once or twice per day so I just know without looking. This one asshole today stomps up to me and he’s fuming. I can see it in his face. I get prepared to offer a fake smile that more often looks like a frown but before I can move my facial muscles the guy asks in an offish way “no courgettes again!?”. Uh oh. I remember his face from the other day and he didn’t look happy then. I tell him I’m sorry but there must be a supply issue. He’s annoyed as it’s a wasted trip to have to come back again tomorrow with no guarantee they’ll be in stock then either. You see he’s got a recipe where it really requires courgettes. He tells me it’s not good enough. And says if it’s not in next time he comes he might ask to see the store manager to complain and he may be forced into shopping elsewhere in the hope to find some place that sells these elusive courgettes since we’re obviously a useless company. I remain polite the whole time and calmly apologise. I tell him I’ll find out what the problem has been and assure him that they’re supposed to be in at some point the next day. Calm on the outside. Bloody murderous on the inside.
You see, I find the whole thing fucking pathetic and infuriating for many reasons. Firstly and most obviously this situation is not my fault. I’m just some bottom of the rung employee with no control over such matters. Why give me shit for it? Like I personally made some fuck up? That pisses me off. I can’t even put it right – there’s literally nothing I can do. Secondly, though we live in an age where many foods are ready made and all about convenience these are fucking courgettes we’re talking about. They have to grow and need time to do so. If there is a supply issue it’s down to some farm somewhere. And many of the products sold in the major supermarkets use similar suppliers. It’s not even my company’s fault most likely. The courgettes just don’t exist yet. The demand has eaten all of the supply so what can you do? No point kicking off about it. I want a NES Classic Mini but I cannot get one. I don’t go bitching to Amazon about it since it’s not their fault Nintendo didn’t make enough. I even checked local stores for stock for him. All have zero stock. Obviously some issue beyond my department. Nothing can be done here.
Next on the annoyances about this confrontation is the fact that he is threatening me with shopping somewhere else. Does he think this bothers me? Oh his pennies are so important to my job right? He would not be missed. No singular person is at all important to a massive scale business. It’s like when you step on an ant and don’t realise. Their presence is just not missed as we’re not even aware of it. And for me personally if he shops somewhere else? Good. Lovely. Good riddance. One less whiny bitch to deal with.
Then there is the fact he’s making a big deal out of one particular ingredient. Yes there are no courgettes and he wants to make some kind of bake that involves them. No point crying over it if they’re not available. He needs to just move on to another recipe, move on to a different meal and move on with his life. Make something else. Buy a convenience meal since you’re demanding absolute convenience at all times. Have a goshdarn takeaway. There are many ways to stay alive by eating various foods. Lack of courgettes are seriously not a problem. Think of kids starving in Africa you selfish prick. They have no hope of making your recipe because they have none of the ingredients and also have none of anything else either. We’re lucky we live in a world where we can almost always buy anything we want and eat whatever we want whenever we want. Getting irate about courgettes? I find it very hard to sympathesize with a plight so slight.
The main reason this customer made me want to make him bite a curb was due to the fact that he’s talking to me like a piece of shit. Forget this customer-employee bullshit for a second. I’m a human and he’s a human. We should talk to each other with respect. Customers walk into a shop and think they always have right of way with their trolleys and we’re at their beck and call and we largely act like that is right. But it isn’t right. I’m just a guy trying to earn some cash to pay my bills and I don’t deserve to be treated like I’m beneath some courgette-recipe-making-wannabe-tosspot. If we were in a bar and I was stood there with my beer would this same guy come over and speak to me with such careless anger? Doubtful. But he thinks he’s a level above me when in the store as he’s paying for some carrots that I’m handling. Out in the real world I could be anyone. I could give him this rant I’m typing to his face and make him either feel like a fool or realise he’s just spoken out of turn to somebody who’s a few sarnies short of a proper goddamn picnic. I could be the kind of dude who might kick off right back and punch him in his stupid bloody head couldn’t I? Customers should not forget that they’re not dealing with computers here but are in fact dealing with humans that may or may not be emotionally stable and may or may not react with professionalism and may or may not shove a courgette up their arse if we ever stock them again. He should shop around. Maybe our competitors have been better able to woo the godforsaken courgettes out of the bastard Earth and he can have his stupid meal and feel like a King. Life is too short to worry about stupid courgettes and it’s definitely too short to be writing rants about the lack of them. Rant over.