Death Grips – Year of the Snitch Review

“I require privacy. I’m always thinking finally. Dreaming, feigning. Changing, cheating.”


Here comes an amateur album review.

Whenever any article is written about Death Grips it always starts by calling them an experimental rap trio from Sacramento consisting of vocalist MC Ride, drummer Zach Hill and sound engineer/fuck knows what Andy Morin. This creates an image for people that don’t know the band that is totally wrong though really. At first Death Grips pushed the boundaries of what could be considered Hip Hop but now they are far past that. You can’t really pin down what the hell they are as they are basically a genre all on their own. They are chaotic, crazy, aggressive, catchy, unique, confusing, primal and goddamn intense.

This has been the first album release of theirs for which I have been able to look forward to as a fan. I really got into them around the time their last album was released two years ago and so their whole discography was already there for me to digest. The build up to the album has been strange and that was to be expected. The cover art for the album is quite disgusting. I can just imagine somebody flicking through my vinyl collection and wondering what the hell this particular album sounds like based on an image of somebody holding a table with holes in and horrible mouths sticking out of it. Then there is the album title – Year of the Snitch. Who is the snitch? What have they snitched about? And why is it their year? Nobody will ever know for sure probably. Death Grips do not explain themselves. Somebody has put a theory together that makes some kind of sense. On the first track to the first Death Grips album it begins with a sample of an interview of Charles Manson. On the 4th track of this new album there’s a track called Linda’s in Custody. Linda Kasabian was a key witness against Charles Manson so therefore she must be the snitch. Also her birthday is 21st June and this year she turns 69. Year of the Snitch was supposed to be released on 22nd June but got leaked (most likely by the band themselves) on the 21st. Maybe the whole idea of the album title was just because of this Linda and a vague 69 joke. It would sound far fetched and silly if it wasn’t Death Grips. And the fact fans put this together shows the level of dedication required to attempt to figure these guys out. We all love a mystery and nobody is more mysterious than this band.

Many things have been said already on the internet about how Death Grips are perhaps the most original and important band of the decade. They make strange music that changes organically from album to album and have influenced people like Kanye West and David Bowie. The most random people have worked with them on albums. Their antics and business decisions make very little sense. They rarely do interviews and let their art speak for itself. A lot of artists claim to “not give a fuck”. Death Grips don’t claim this but it’s clear they really don’t care what anybody thinks of them. Record labels, radio stations and even their own fans can all do as they please. Fuck money and fame. It’s totally unimportant to them. Bands create products to sell at the end of the day. They are people earning a living and though they may be passionate about what they create it is still a job and they need to appeal to record executives and the masses to maximise profits. Death Grips go against the grain and give their music away for free. You cannot separate the band members from their art. Everything they do is Death Grips. Every strange photo they post on Instagram, every strange comment, every weird nonsensical business decision, every word and beat in every song is all part of the art that they’re bringing to the world without fear of rejection. It has to be admired. Every song of theirs you hear is something you’ve never heard before as they’ve looked to some strange thing in the world and created something with it in an interesting way. They are in a league of their own and yet keep quitting their own league and starting something else. And with the stage set it is theirs to tear down once again with a new piece of music.

Let’s break it down track by track :

  1. Death Grips is Online
    The title of this album opener was first tweeted by them last year some time. And ever since whenever they post anything on social media fans tweet this phrase often with the most messed up image they have stored and Death Grips re-tweet tonnes of these tweets. Like hundreds of them in a sitting. This has gone on for over half a year and nobody knows why. We just tweet it. Then when they released the track list we realised they were actually going to name a song after this mad thing the fans do. After two years of waiting and never even knowing if a new album would come for most of that time it was great to finally press play on this when it leaked. So how’s it sound? Well, it was jarring at first and not for the usual reasons of the sounds of pure madness. It shockingly sounded quite normal for the first 10 or so seconds. So normal that I literally had to check I’d pressed play on the right album. It could easily be on the radio for all the “normies” (DG fans name for non-DG fans) to hear. For 10 seconds anyway. Then the normality ends and we’re back to normality. The nice music drops and in comes some bass and electronic sounds. From there the track switches between weird verses and a catchy as hell chorus. There’s so much going on and it’s an absolute banger. I’d say this is their second best ever album opener after Beware from Exmilitary.
  2. Flies
    This was one of the six (six!? Almost half the album the crazy bastards) singles released before the album leaked. It divided the fan base. Many didn’t get it. Death Grips songs are on a spectrum where one end is pure aggression and the other end is pure strange. This track definitely falls on the strange end of the spectrum. The song seems to be about death and decay and so hence the flies. It’s so mental. Very disturbing vibe. Weird lyrics. Verses that are half spoken and half screamed in a deranged manner. And towards the end there’s this transition that fills you with dread as the song seems to just disintegrate whilst we hear samples of themselves from previous songs. The transition goes nicely into the next track.
  3. Black Paint
    So back to that strange/aggressive spectrum. This song is on the other end to Flies. It’s almost like a heavy metal song mixed with punk or something. MC Ride screams his ass off. Everything is on point here – the drums, the bass, the guitar, the vocals. I love the “BOOM, BOOM, BOOM” line. Super intense song and fans weren’t divided on this one. It’s just bloody dead good.
  4. Linda’s in Custody
    Starts off calm. And gets wild pretty quick. This one has been stuck in my head today and is fixed there right now too. It’s the beat and the unusually calm delivery from Ride that gets you bopping. It has a line that goes “eat it like the devil’s cunt” and that shit gets in your head but you can’t exactly walk around saying that kind of thing ha. With many Death Grips tracks it’s hard to find words to describe because they’re just bat-shit-crazy.
  5. The Horn Section
    An instrumental track. These always disappoint me. Not that they’re not good. But with a title like it has I was hoping a little for a DG track with an orchestra and Ride going mad over the top of it. It’s interesting and short and goes into the next proper track.
  6. Hahaha
    Another tough one to describe. Let’s see. I’ll throw words out and see what happens. Samples. DJ scratching. Carnivals. Rock anthem whilst on a rollercoaster. Insane lyrics. Who the fuck knows? It’s crazy dog. I saw someone describe this track perfectly by saying it’s like the clown Pennywise from the film It has written a song and it has turned out as mad as you’d expect.
  7. Shitshow
    As soon as Hahaha ends it runs into this and it starts with a growl. The day before the album leaked they released a video for this on YouTube and after a few hours YouTube took it down and gave DG a warning for content. The video is something else. It shows Zach Hill wiping his ass with toilet paper but on the toilet paper is various colours instead of the expected brown. It also shows a woman taking a piss on a hill. A leak you could say. Possible hint at the fact they were about to leak the album. But that’s not the most disturbing part of the video at all. There are clips in it of a director named Galen Pehrson after having a seisure being treated by medics. He also directs the video. The footage is real. I think anyway. The guy doesn’t know what’s going on. It’s eerie as hell and something that should be private really but DG love making people uncomfortable. And as for the song? It is a shitshow in a good way. Ridiculously fast paced lyrics about the most crazy things. Chaotic instrumentation. It’s like they had a few song ideas and just jammed it all together into this less than two minute piece. Madness.
  8. Streaky
    The first single. Many DG fans weren’t feeling this at first but it has grown on them. I loved it and didn’t understand the “meh” feeling people gave it as it’s still one of my favourites on the album. I guess after waiting for the first single and expecting Death Grips to blow your fucking head off maybe this was underwhelming as it is actually really accessible. Maybe the most accessible Death Grips track ever. It makes you want to dance. It is really layered and incredibly infectious. Ride’s delivery is almost normal. It is difficult in some ways being a Grips fan when none of your mates like them (although it’s cool to be a part of their fan base online and it does seem like a cool secretive little cult and everybody not in it is just missing out). But if there’s one song I had to pick that a normal person might possibly be able to like quite quickly it would be this one. It’s just good music to vibe to. Definitely a highlight for me.
  9. Dilemma
    So after a near-normal song what do the dudes have for us next? Of course, it’s back to the twilight zone. There’s a spoken part at the start by Andrew Adamson. He’s the director of the Shrek films. Just what the hell is he doing on a Death Grips album? Who knows. It makes no sense and that totally makes sense. Add him to the list of random people to work with them. Like when Robert Pattinson played a guitar part on a track once or when Bjork gave them some vocals to use and they sampled her voice on every song on one side of a double album. Mad shit all the time. This was another single with a video. Like most Death Grips songs it’s not like any other Death Grips track you’ve ever heard before. It’s very atmospheric. It makes little sense in a genius kind of way. The lyrics are hilarious when you read them. It’s another great track.
  10. Little Richard
    Ok seriously now, what the absolute fuck is this? What cocktail of drugs leads to tracks like this? I don’t really know what to say about it. It’s different. There’s a strange effect on Ride’s voice through the whole thing. And the track seems to be all about dicks. And pig’s dicks and stuff. Fuck knows. It’s wacky. You don’t know whether to scratch or bop your head. I need more time with this one.
  11. The Fear
    I was looking forward to this the most based off the title. I was not expecting what I got though. How many times can a band pull the rug from under you? It’s like if a horror film had a baby with a jazz band. Jazz!? It’s like Death Grips don’t consider it enough to be a rap, punk, electro, rock, experimental, noise, industrial pop band. They have to be everything all at once. Jazz!? Seriously? Themes on this include a nice dose of suicide and murder. It’s one of the best goddamn tracks I’ve heard this year. But such are the greatness of these dudes that it may not make the top three on the album.
  12. Outro
    The second instrumental track on the album. Really cool beat that I wish lasted longer or had been made into a full song. You’d think a title like “Outro” would be the outro to the album right? Nah. Outro is the penultimate track here. One more to come.
  13. Disappointed
    Disappointed? Anything but. I said I didn’t know if The Fear makes the top three on the album but with this I think it might take the top spot for me. They really know how to open and end albums. With straight fire. This is so aggressive. The drumming is fast as hell. Ride simultaneously screams each word and repeats it in an echo with a normal voice. It’s so fast and so nuts and so cool. And that chorus? Man, it’s a shivers down the spine moment. He screams “whhhhhyyyy meeeee?” And at the same time it’s mixed in with a cymbal crash or something and a load of bass. It comes at you out of nowhere like FUCKING BOOM! I feel like if somebody heard this for the first time real loud whilst driving it could cause them to crash. It’s mad. For me it might be their second best ever album ending track after Hacker.

It’s really hard to review Death Grips. What the hell can you compare them to? How do you describe what is damn near impossible to understand? They create a state of confusion that you have to take some time to get used to but damn the music is so so good. It almost ruins the music of other artists. Like how to you go back to the music of normies after Year of the Snitch? Other bands get a good guitar riff, some nice bass, cool drums and sing a nice tune and that’s all good. But Death Grips get all of that stuff and then magnify it, chop it, mix it, add in glass explosions and car crashes and ambulances and somehow infuse the soundwaves you receive with cocaine, vodka and MDMA. It’s a real assault on the senses sonically and visually and it makes you feel totally alive and pumped up. And there’s all the little details in songs that you miss on the first few listens. Like a random catchy guitar part that you look forward to or a particular scream of pure emotion mid-verse. It’s like they’re The Anti-Beatles in a way. They have the creativity The Beatles have but instead of making universally loved and incredible melodies they make pure insanity that is so abrasive that most people will never get past the surface. They totally subvert expectations and smash genre boundaries. In case you couldn’t tell they have ascended to my favourite band on planet Earth. This new album far from disappoints. I was hoping for something different and yet also pure Death Grips and this was it. It ticks all the boxes. It’s hard to say where it ranks with the rest of their discography as they’re all so different. From one week to the next my favourite of theirs changes. This album will go into rotation with the rest of them on a Death Grips day and will hold its own. It’s not for everyone. And that’s fine. Death Grips is Online!


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The Outer Layer of an Onion

“And you think you’re so clever and classless and free
But you’re still fucking peasants as far as I can see”


I find myself at an impasse right now. I’m doing a job which allows me to have an easy life and still keep a roof over my head and food in the fridge. It doesn’t allow for much else however. Sometimes I’m cool with this fact as I don’t want much. I’m a simple guy when it comes to materialistic things. On other occasions though I do wonder what will happen if I just never earn enough to buy a house and do all those other things we’re supposed to do. Maybe I should achieve more just to give myself options. What if one day I wake up and really want all the fancy things in life and yet cannot have them? It’d be too late. Too much messing about and resting on one’s laurels in years gone by would have cost me. So maybe I should sort my shit out.

The easiest option would be to progress in my current job. Step up and get more responsibility and more money. To do that I need to produce a 3D CV presentation in a Dragon’s Den sort of situation. There is no getting around it – that is the first step. I find this so frustrating. Everything hinges on a 10 minute presentation about yourself to a few managers. Everyone is in the same boat so it’s hard to complain but complain I shall.

I admit the whole thing makes me nervous. But I wouldn’t say I’m crippled with fear and so could not ever do it. I would say I’m averagely nervous. It’s nerve wracking for anybody. I think what bothers me about it is the fact you have to find a unique way to say all the clichéd things that everybody says. We all have a story. We all have a job history, education history and hobbies. It isn’t easy to link that into something visual and then bang on about how great we are when working in a team, how hard working we are, how reliable we are and all the rest of it. I find the whole thing cringe-worthy. And I can’t think of any way to visually show off all the mundane aspects of my life. I like the usual things and don’t have much to shout about when it comes to jobs. As for qualifications? They take some explaining and usually leads to more questions. As in why did you not go on to achieve more….Well, I don’t know. I just didn’t fancy it. But now I do OK? Can we move on?

Another thing that bothers me is that this presentation seems to override how you actually do in the workplace on a day to day basis. From day 1 I have had 100% attendance so it doesn’t require me to say I’m reliable in some stupid 3D CV. Everybody knows it. The evidence is there for all to see. Every single person who does this presentation will claim to be reliable. Of course they will. Some of them will be truthful and some full of crap. So what does it matter what we say? Just look at the evidence. You speak to me daily and so know what I’m about. Why can we not just be rewarded for hard work and loyalty with a chance at progression? Why do we have to start jumping through hoops and entertaining people?

Also, I just hate the rat race. I hate this competitiveness. I hate advertising myself. I find people who like to advertise themselves irritating. It’s like this – I can happen to think somebody is really cool. The way they act and conduct themselves could seem cool to me. And that is my subjective opinion that really doesn’t have anything to do with them. It’s just a reaction to how they are. That’s fine. We all form opinions on others based on how they act. But if that same person was to also agree and think they’re cool and then say that they are cool that is the most uncool thing ever. The moment somebody believes they’re cool they’re instantly not cool. My opinion would change. You can’t be cool and know it. Knowing it is never cool. It can’t be known and it’s for others to judge. The same can be applied in many areas of life. Am I hard working? Am I a good team player? It’s for others to judge based on how I act. We’re forever affecting people’s opinion with our actions. But it isn’t for me to say I’m a good worker. Maybe others don’t agree and feel I’m a lazy bastard and that is their right. Actions speak far louder than words. I find it harsh that such importance is dedicated to our words in one presentation when we have all the actions we make in every moment leading up to that point as an on going ever changing in real time 3D CV. That is surely far more important and how we act in everyday life is the best basis for deciding on whether a person is capable of bringing more to a company or not. Currently I don’t feel anything I do is taken into account and literally all that matters is doing a daft presentation where I say the same things as everyone else about how great I am when I really don’t want to be saying those things and if those things are true then they’d all know it anyway. It’s annoying.

Some people can say that it’s totally fair for everyone and they’re looking for people capable of doing such a thing. I guess it is fair. But all it shows is you can talk in a pressure situation about yourself for 10 minutes. That is literally all it shows. It really doesn’t give any indication on whether or not you’re a good employee. It doesn’t show self belief. We all know CV’s and 3D CV’s are false advertising. If you really do believe you’re as good as you say in a CV then you’re not confident – you’re arrogant.

It’s frustrating. I feel ready for a new challenge and feel like I can do more. I think I’ve earned a chance to show it and this is the chance that we get given. And I find this chance to be a major pain in the ass. Every hobby I have seems obvious and lame. Every idea I have for an object to show seems daft. Every word I think of uttering about myself seems utterly uncool and such a massive cliché. Yet I stay where I am if I don’t do this. And yet time is running out to think of something real to present that doesn’t make me a bit sick in my mouth. How to do this kind of thing and keep one’s integrity? It ain’t easy. And if I stay and don’t do this then fear starts to grip me that time is racing away and I’m wasting away into oblivion. I could leave. But I think this is the way of the world now.  Companies want people who’ll say “yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir”. Jump through the hoops and keep chasing the carrot all the way to the top and eventually the stick gets you anyway and we die and become dust blowing in the air. It’s far less stressful to give my ego a kick and get rid of any remnants of ambition altogether. Let others fight each other in a race to the top and stay the hell out of it. In the grand scheme of things whether we “own” land and bricks or not is irrelevant. One day the Sun will engulf the Earth. Our civilisation will have ended millions of years before and thousands of other civilisations will have risen and fallen in all the time between. So does it really matter if I do a presentation and get promoted? Not really. It’s just effort and stress. So sod it. Give it up and have more time to read more books and play more games. Cut the income gap by illegal downloading of films, tv programmes and books. And wait for Jeremy Corbyn to sort out this shower of shit society we live in.

Don’t be a rat. Don’t jump through hoops. Don’t chase carrots. Be yourself 100%.

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Eminem Revival Review

“Now take your best rhyme, outdo it, now do it a thousand times
Now let ’em tell ya the world no longer cares or gives a fuck about your rhymes”


Time for an amateur album review. Eminem. Revival.

I admit I’m a Stan. I’ve followed Eminem since I was 12 and now I’m nearly 31. He’s by far my most listened to artist. This is something which I guess makes me biased. But I don’t want to be biased. I want to honestly review this album whilst also giving a few thoughts about Eminem and his fans and critics if I can.

It’s been four years since the last album. Every new Eminem release is a big event for me. Every album reminds me of the period of time around when it came out as it becomes all I listen to for a while. And I’m always intrigued by other reviews of the albums. First and foremost I see Eminem as a poet and wordsmith before the musician that he is. He’s a writer of the English language and he does it in such a creative and interesting way. But it’s music that he makes and it has to also be good to listen to as well as something to be analysed. He’s now got 9 studio albums and 3 are considered classics by the critics. Infinite is considered to be a great album. And now the other 5 are mixed or slightly above or below average. It’s a strange one for me at times. I saw Relapse got a few reviews around the 4 out of 10 mark. Yet it can also be studied as one of the best pieces of multi syllabic rhyming ever. Surely the best album for rhyming to ever sell millions. But this is the balance Eminem needs to get right on every album now. Technically he’s as good as he’s ever been. An absolute master when it comes to rapping. But does the music suffer at the cost of dazzling rhyme schemes? At times it has. On the Shady XV compilation album there are songs that are literally mind blowing when it comes to the technical side of things. He can have so many rhyme schemes going at the same time that he can rhyme hundreds of times in a singular verse with no exaggeration. But as songs a few of those tracks can be forgettable. When you listen to them they’re just ok unless you really sit there listening deeply and thinking about the talent on display. To sum up recent releases I would say Relapse is a pure showcase of that talent that is fun to listen to and nasty as hell. But maybe the fact almost the whole album was from the mind of a serial killer was a bit too much. We want songs about different kinds of subject matter right? Recovery put this right and totally revived his career. But it was quite poppy and maybe missed some of the nastiness. Then came the Marshall Mathers LP 2 and it had was a right throwback. For me as an album it was the best since The Eminem Show other than a few weak tracks. I definitely rate those three albums higher than most critics and maybe that shows my bias. But I enjoy them and listened to them so many times. Maybe Eminem can make great albums for his fans but just cannot satisfy the sometimes overly harsh critics anymore. It’s been 15 years since The Eminem Show. If none of the albums since have been much good then it’s a feat in itself that he’s still considered a legend of the game and one of the best of all time. After putting out 5 straight average albums he’s still the highest selling artist of the 21st century? And after mixed release followed by mixed release every critic is still frothing at the mouth to get an opinion out on anything he does? I’m skeptical of these reviews that are released on the release day of the album. Their minds are made up so quickly that it seems to me minds are made up before even hearing it. Anyway, that’s enough background. I should just crack on with the review myself.

I didn’t like the way it was called Revival to make it part of the Re-trilogy after Relapse and Recovery. Eminem has always done that. Every album title relates to another. It’s like he absolutely needs to remind people of past albums with a new album. First minor criticism for this Stan here. It’s a long album but that’s cool if there’s no filler and a need for every song. Not sure that is the case though here. When I saw the track list I was disheartened a bit. Beyoncé, Ed Sheeran, Alicia Keys, Skylar Grey and Pink? Damn it seemed like it was going to be Recovery part two that targets being liked by the masses rather than the hardcore fans. And for some of these tracks I definitely get the Recovery vibe. They would not sound out of place there at all. It’s not a huge complaint because I still like Recovery but it’s just that I think he can make better albums than that. The thing that is great about this new album though is also something that could be a negative. It does have the Recovery type tracks and yet also has many of the other sounds from Eminem’s past. It’s like he’s made an album that has got something for everybody. It has the Recovery type songs but also a track called Framed. That song is him totally tapping back into the serial killer persona and sounds like it could have been on Relapse. It also has the deep songs that talk about the public soap opera that has been his life. Bad Husband is an apology to Kim. The last couple of tracks are letters to his daughter and documenting when he nearly died and was all fucked up in hospital over Christmas and yet coming back, getting sober, being a Dad an resurrecting his career. He also has the political songs going at Trump and talking about racial inequality in America. And he has the songs that are there to display his ability as a rapper. So he has the lyical songs, the pop songs, the sick songs, the personal songs and the world view songs. This mix is great for people that like all those types of songs. But what about the people that love Relapse and hate Recovery? I guess you can only ever partially like this album if that is the case. If you love the stadium anthem pop songs about relationship troubles then there are a good few tracks to love here but maybe you’ll dislike it when he raps about murdering toddlers. I can see how critics can call it a messy affair. From one track to the next you don’t know what you’re going to see from him next and so as a collection of songs it doesn’t really stick to a theme or concept like a Kendrick Lamar album would. I love tight albums that seem like a complete body of work and this Revival album is not that. I guess not every album can just be a complete perfect statement and also be amazing artistically. And other than Relapse I don’t think any Eminem album has ever been a concept album. Maybe Recovery was in the fact that the whole album was full of potentially radio dominating singles.

I’m going to get a few negatives out of the way now here. There are two songs that I’m really not feeling at all after multiple listens. The first is called Heat. It’s a bit cringey with the bad puns and the beat does nothing for me. Eminem is unbelievable when it comes to wordplay most of the time. But he throws so many puns and lyrical stunts out there and so in a 77 minute or so album there are bound to be times when he misfires. This is my main complaint about the Eminem of 2017. Sometimes to complete a rhyme scheme he seems to say something stupid. And so part of you wants to applaud the rhyme and part of you wants to put your head in your hands due to how lame the sentence actually was. He seems unwilling to compromise here though. He rhymes first and asks questions later. If a bad pun completes the rhyme in a cool way then he will keep it in even if it harms the song. Heat seems to have many of these puns. It’s a throwaway song. It has some good lines but is quite skippable. The other track that I’m confused by is Need Me featuring Pink. I don’t really have anything against Pink but I would never buy a Pink album or really sit on my own listening to a Pink song. And this track feels like a Pink song and not an Eminem song. I couldn’t believe it when she sang the first verse, did the chorus, then the second verse (with backing vocals from Eminem) and then the chorus and after two minutes we’d barely heard Eminem on an Eminem song on an Eminem album. And the subject matter is one of those about troubled relationships. There’s a couple of those on the album that are better and so I don’t understand why this Pink song with an average verse from Eminem was needed at all.

It also does seem like he follows a formula. He has few songs that sound like he’s trying to make another Love the Way You Lie. They are pop songs and that’s fine but damages artistic integrity I believe. It’s another example of how torn Eminem is and always has been. Money and fame doesn’t motivate him at this point. All that matters to him is his place in the rap game. His legacy. You can sense he struggles for subject matter at times but just wants to pen some lyrics as that is his hobby that he is very competitive about. But he’s always had amazing sales and his albums sales pay for peoples’ salaries back at the record label. So on some tracks he’s trying to be the nasty emcee that does not give a fuck and will blow your mind with his talent. And on others he obviously does give a fuck and wants the song to be popular and so is rapping with shackles on as he tries to force his talent to produce something for the radio play. It’s a fine line and somehow he’s always balanced it well. No critic can say he hasn’t done well there and it can be proved by asking anyone who they would put in the top 10 lyricists of all time and then asking about number of sales of albums and songs. Eminem dominates both and that cannot be easy. Especially after 20 years of doing it when you’re now 45.

It sounds like I’m making excuses there but it does feel like people have been overly critical of him and he isn’t getting the credit he deserves lately. And after discussing some things about the album that I didn’t like I find plenty to say about the things I do like. Walk on Water is a great song and an honest view of his own self doubts. I find it admirable that it bothers him how he’s perceived after all he’s done because we all feel that. I do wish he’d not give a fuck again about what people think. That’s when he’s at his best. Some of his best ever verses are when he’s on somebody else’s album and has no pressure to make an Eminem song and just raps. His talent is insane and we all know it.

The second and third tracks see Eminem rapping in a more modern style like many of the rappers are doing today. I had to research this a bit but apparently many rappers these days are rapping in a style involving triplets. It’s a very stop-starty way to rap to me. But Eminem does it well whilst taking the piss out of these rappers. A bit of showing off which is good after the Walk on Water song. When I hear the chorus to Believe it gets me pumped up as I’m totally on his side. I guess that’s the difference between a Stan and a critic. We are fans of his story and so are naturally supportive rather than wanting to tear his albums to pieces at the slightest misstep. These two tracks are the only songs where I feel he’s battling present day rappers with their own style. A nice bit of lyrical bragging before some serious subject matter.

The next track is Untouchable and has divided many including me. I’m still not sure if I’ll end up loving this song or skipping it. Most people hate the chorus but I find it catchy. I love the concept of it. Many fans want to see Eminem using his words for serious worldly subjects and this is a political track where he raps as a white cop to a rock-rap beat and then raps as a black dude with a more typical hip hop beat. He tries to sound like an ignorant prick in the first two verses and I’m not the biggest fan of them. The last verse is better and says a lot of things that most people agree with. For me he’s preaching to the choir so maybe this song isn’t for me. And it’s a long verse. I’m on the fence with this song currently.

Ed Sheeran next. River. My thing with Ed Sheeran is I find myself sucked in to his songs and his melodies really quickly and love it. But very quickly that same melody gets boring due to overplaying and lack of substance. This is the Love the Way You Lie track of the album. It’s going to be massive. There’s talk that it might be UK Christmas number 1. It will get about 100,000 plays on every radio station. And this will likely ruin it for me and so to preserve it a bit I’ll have to start skipping this song. Even though I currently like the song. Eminem’s verses are good but nothing special for him. It’s a formulaic song targeting sales and they’re always weaker songs for me but this is him giving something for everyone and the potential problem with it. So far we’ve had self-doubt and inner turmoil, lyrical bragging and showing off, racial inequality and a smash hit single and we’re at track 5. And the song has just come on now and here I am bopping my head and rapping along. It’s just damn catchy man. Written for the masses and the sheep will lap it up. It sucks that record executives can have a formula and then it just works and creates wealth for themselves so easily. We’re all idiots. Have our money. Just take it. You win. River is great.

Remind Me is the next song. The sample and basically the chorus is “I love rock ‘n’ roll, so put another dime in the jukebox baby” with Eminem rapping over it like a Beastie Boy. For me it’s a lot of fun though it does have a few cringey lines. Instruments getting blown and all that. And it’s also home to the worst Eminem line I’ve ever heard…”your booty is heavy duty…like diarrhea”. Damn Em, I know it rhymed with the previous line but Jesus. You’re better than that. And real tits are better than fake tits no matter what Eminem says. It’s an average Eminem song. Doesn’t make or break the album.

The Revival Interlude was unexpected. Eminem has nothing to do with the title song. It’s a female singer who is now dead I’ve heard. It’s pretty cool. And it’s like a check point as a few serious songs are coming up.

Like Home with Alicia Keys comes next. I love to hear him bashing Trump and it’s a brave thing to do since a lot of his fan base are likely Trump voters. He disses Trump but also makes the song a positive thing as America is more than just Trump. The chorus wasn’t too great. It’s a Recovery type anthem chorus. I do like it when the music cuts out and Alicia Keys sings the last line. I do like the song.

The next song is called Bad Husband and so we know what it’s about before listening. Kim. It’s a crazy story those two share and Eminem fans have followed it since the beginning. It’s interesting that after all the fantasies of murdering her he says sorry to her and he sounds so mature here. It has some real good rhymes that make you think about your own experiences. Weird to hear him admit to abuse even though it shouldn’t surprise us I guess. He is a psycho after all. The chorus is a problem though. X Ambassadors do the chorus and I just find it so bland and boring. Really does nothing for me.

Tragic Endings with Skylar Grey comes next and this is a song that I’ve read that many critics hated but I really like it. I like the beat, love Em’s verses and like the chorus. It’s about troubled relationships again (think maybe there’s three of those types on the albums). I do think he talks about this subject a bit too much on this album but as I stated earlier I would scrap the Pink song and keep this one. Em’s voice sounds more passionate here.

Stand up for the real Slim Shady. Shady is back on the next song. No Marshall Mathers on Framed. It’s totally a Relapse song. Relapse is an album that was loved by fans and hated by critics and eventually hated by Eminem himself. But strangely the critics seem to have warmed to it. That album is insane and really could be a module to study in an English class. Wanna see a guy take one syllable and rhyme it a ridiculous amount of times while tell a story? Wanna see each sentence rhyme with the next in four places in a consistent melody all through a song whilst telling a story? Relapse is a masterclass. Count the multiples per verse. You won’t be able to as they come so fast. And this song could be on that album. It’s mental. It’s sick. He rhymes like a beast and the beat is disgustingly amazing. One of the best tracks on the album for me.

Next is Nowhere Fast. It’s a bit of a confusing song as he seems unable to stay on topic. It’s mostly about nihilism creeping in due to constant terror attacks and the bleak future for today’s generation. But he often slips into bragging lyrical mode. Still, I relate to the song and I like it. The chorus is another Recovery type one and I do like it but it will get overplayed and might get annoying in future.

I’ll talk about Offended next as it’s sandwiched between Need Me and Heat which I’ve already talked about. Offended reminds me of Rap God from the last album. It’s a pure showcase of ability. He pulls out all of his lyrical stunts including the always popular super speedy million miles per hour rhymes. Every line is something sick too. Pure Eminem at his best and another of my favourites from the album. It’s another that has gained criticism for it’s chorus but I like it. It’s like a nursery rhyme and I like how it takes us out of the dazzling rhymes to this basic rhyme before diving back into insanity again.

The next three tracks are linked especially the last two. In Your Head plays over the Zombie song from The Cranberries and uses it’s chorus. This is one of my favourite songs from the 90’s and to hear Eminem rap over it is amazing for me. It’s a deep song as he wishes he could take some rhymes back and had thought more carefully about the impact his lines would’ve ended up having when it comes to his daughter.

Then we have Castle and Arose. Castle is incredible and even critics finally agree with me here. The verses are letters to Haillie from three points in life. It reminds me of Stan. Great storytelling. The chorus is from a woman who has done a few Eminem songs now (Liz Rodrigues) and is really eerie and cool. She always does a great chorus as she has such a cool voice. I guess I should put a spoiler alert here. If you are looking forward to this album to either enjoy it or bash it then don’t read from here. It’s unlikely that the alert will matter haha. But you hear him take his pills at the end of this song and collapse and it goes straight into Arose which is him when he nearly died of an overdose in 2007. He raps from his death bed with all of his regrets and is pretty emotional. But then he comes back (Revival) and rewinds and the beat to Castle comes back as he re-does the last verse with triumph and flushes the pills down the toilet. Nobody can deny that those two tracks that make up the finale are Eminem at his storytelling best. He is a modern-day Shakespeare.

Well there is my track by track review. Final verdict is I’d give it an 8 out of 10. It’s not perfect and he tries to please everyone but there’s enough on here for a Stan like me to really enjoy. I find the songs sticking in my head and I look forward to listening to it. It doesn’t really tread new ground but it’s like he’s said himself: when you start as an artist you have a blank canvas and everything you do adds more paint to it. There comes a time where you run out of room on the canvas for new paint and that’s where he’s at. This album is a serious attempt to acknowledge that fact and yet still try to make something new that fans will like and it mostly succeeds I feel. Where does he go from here? Who knows. I can’t see how he can make too many more albums and maybe this is the last one. Either way what a career this dude has had. There’ll never be another Eminem. From Stan to D12 to 8 Mile to now he’s gave the world a lot and deserves to be regarded as a living legend.



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Some days you just need a quick rant to the world rather than bottling up anger until you have a proper full blown temper tantrum.

So I work in a supermarket. I won’t say the brand. Don’t want to get into trouble, not that anybody managerial will read this. Anyway in this supermarket I deal with customers daily. Bloody asshole customers who would have us wipe their arse for them if they could. I could write a book on them but instead I’m just going to write a short rant about one asshole customer today.

For some reason over the past few days we’ve had no courgettes in stock. We sell them loose, in a package and baby courgettes usually but all three are out of stock. Customers keep asking me if we have them and I keep immediately but politely saying “no we’re all out”. Maybe they think I just can’t be arsed to look but the truth is that I get asked this question every 20 mins and we only have deliveries once or twice per day so I just know without looking. This one asshole today stomps up to me and he’s fuming. I can see it in his face. I get prepared to offer a fake smile that more often looks like a frown but before I can move my facial muscles the guy asks in an offish way “no courgettes again!?”. Uh oh. I remember his face from the other day and he didn’t look happy then. I tell him I’m sorry but there must be a supply issue. He’s annoyed as it’s a wasted trip to have to come back again tomorrow with no guarantee they’ll be in stock then either. You see he’s got a recipe where it really requires courgettes. He tells me it’s not good enough. And says if it’s not in next time he comes he might ask to see the store manager to complain and he may be forced into shopping elsewhere in the hope to find some place that sells these elusive courgettes since we’re obviously a useless company. I remain polite the whole time and calmly apologise. I tell him I’ll find out what the problem has been and assure him that they’re supposed to be in at some point the next day. Calm on the outside. Bloody murderous on the inside.

You see, I find the whole thing fucking pathetic and infuriating for many reasons. Firstly and most obviously this situation is not my fault. I’m just some bottom of the rung employee with no control over such matters. Why give me shit for it? Like I personally made some fuck up? That pisses me off. I can’t even put it right – there’s literally nothing I can do. Secondly, though we live in an age where many foods are ready made and all about convenience these are fucking courgettes we’re talking about. They have to grow and need time to do so. If there is a supply issue it’s down to some farm somewhere. And many of the products sold in the major supermarkets use similar suppliers. It’s not even my company’s fault most likely. The courgettes just don’t exist yet. The demand has eaten all of the supply so what can you do? No point kicking off about it. I want a NES Classic Mini but I cannot get one. I don’t go bitching to Amazon about it since it’s not their fault Nintendo didn’t make enough. I even checked local stores for stock for him. All have zero stock. Obviously some issue beyond my department. Nothing can be done here.

Next on the annoyances about this confrontation is the fact that he is threatening me with shopping somewhere else. Does he think this bothers me? Oh his pennies are so important to my job right? He would not be missed. No singular person is at all important to a massive scale business. It’s like when you step on an ant and don’t realise. Their presence is just not missed as we’re not even aware of it. And for me personally if he shops somewhere else? Good. Lovely. Good riddance. One less whiny bitch to deal with.

Then there is the fact he’s making a big deal out of one particular ingredient. Yes there are no courgettes and he wants to make some kind of bake that involves them. No point crying over it if they’re not available. He needs to just move on to another recipe, move on to a different meal and move on with his life. Make something else. Buy a convenience meal since you’re demanding absolute convenience at all times. Have a goshdarn takeaway. There are many ways to stay alive by eating various foods. Lack of courgettes are seriously not a problem. Think of kids starving in Africa you selfish prick. They have no hope of making your recipe because they have none of the ingredients and also have none of anything else either. We’re lucky we live in a world where we can almost always buy anything we want and eat whatever we want whenever we want. Getting irate about courgettes? I find it very hard to sympathesize with a plight so slight.

The main reason this customer made me want to make him bite a curb was due to the fact that he’s talking to me like a piece of shit. Forget this customer-employee bullshit for a second. I’m a human and he’s a human. We should talk to each other with respect. Customers walk into a shop and think they always have right of way with their trolleys and we’re at their beck and call and we largely act like that is right. But it isn’t right. I’m just a guy trying to earn some cash to pay my bills and I don’t deserve to be treated like I’m beneath some courgette-recipe-making-wannabe-tosspot. If we were in a bar and I was stood there with my beer would this same guy come over and speak to me with such careless anger? Doubtful. But he thinks he’s a level above me when in the store as he’s paying for some carrots that I’m handling. Out in the real world I could be anyone. I could give him this rant I’m typing to his face and make him either feel like a fool or realise he’s just spoken out of turn to somebody who’s a few sarnies short of a proper goddamn picnic. I could be the kind of dude who might kick off right back and punch him in his stupid bloody head couldn’t I? Customers should not forget that they’re not dealing with computers here but are in fact dealing with humans that may or may not be emotionally stable and may or may not react with professionalism and may or may not shove a courgette up their arse if we ever stock them again. He should shop around. Maybe our competitors have been better able to woo the godforsaken courgettes out of the bastard Earth and he can have his stupid meal and feel like a King. Life is too short to worry about stupid courgettes and it’s definitely too short to be writing rants about the lack of them. Rant over.

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Positive Insane Attitude


Yay! A positive stream of words is about to flow through me onto the internet designed to contribute towards enabling our collective conscious Oneness to vibrate at a higher frequency!

Hopefully that introduction made you feel a little bit sick in your mouth. Like positivity does to me lately. This will not be a positive post. This is a very negative review of positivity. I feel positively negative about positivity and positive thoughts cause me to feel additional negativity and this trend is increasing exponentially. I think I must be vibrating at a very low frequency lately.

Obviously positive thinking can be really beneficial. It’s better to have a good outlook on life as we all want to be happy and keep stress levels low. If you’re a positive person to be around then people warm to that and the good vibes keep flowing in an on-going snowball effect. Happy thoughts usually lead to more happy thoughts and the hormones involved are great for your health. So just what is my problem with positivity? The problem is that many people have realised just how positive a thing it can be to think positively. And they’re trying to cash in on this fact which has lead to a rise in inauthentic positivity where people are using this outlook to enhance their own lives while the people being lead by them get nowhere.

There are limits to what a positive attitude can achieve. It’s not magic. You cannot literally move mountains just by thinking and believing it. But it does have results. The more often you say yes to new situations the more likely you are to achieve and get closer to your goals in theory. People know this. And these people have come up with a game plan to get rich. They act overwhelmingly positive (that word is such an annoying word to type too) in all of their social media posts. And what they’re trying to sell is this positivity. Some disguise themselves as some kind of spiritual guru and they preach this fake persona to the world where money means nothing and it’s all about believing in yourself and the Universe will provide. Except while saying that money doesn’t matter they’re selling books and t-shirts and charging extortionate amounts for “life counselling”. When spirituality bumps into capitalism the illusion reveals itself. There’s no escaping the need and desire for money. You can sit there all day meditating but you’ve still got to eat and pay your bills and no amount of positive thinking can change that. You’re under pressure to get new customers. It’s a business. And a con. We can think positively without making somebody else rich for telling us the obvious.

These assholes that sell positivity are not always dressed up as gurus. Sometimes they’ve got a business suit on and at least admit it’s all about money like everything else is. These people tell you to project a successful image before you even truly have it as that will help you achieve it. They usually have a pyramid scheme and require a constant flow of gullible people to devour. Basically you have to sign up to their “business model” and then you yourself are automatically on an upward trajectory towards your dreams. They deliver to you whatever crap they are actually selling and with your positive attitude you sell it. You’re part of a network where you all artificially upvote/like/share each others posts and even comment with the most over the top excitement about the new product that is “about to explode”. I could forgive it all. We all want to get rich and if we have people out there selling our stuff for us then it’s understandable why people set these schemes up. But it’s seeing the utterly fake crap that they all write to each other that gets on my nerves. It’s as if people think they can just project this image and we’re all so stupid that we’ll have no choice but to be taken in and buy their crap and even join up to this network ourselves. Whenever I see this stuff I just look forward to the looks on the faces of these stupid bastards when life snuffs this fairy-tale bullshit out like it inevitably will.

The reality is probably that you’ve been talked into selling some expensive juice for some asshole at the top of the pyramid. The juice is probably organic and vegan as they’re currently desirable qualities in the market. You’re selling this shite to your facebook friends of which you have 400ish. Out of those 400 maybe 15 of them are intrigued and maybe three of them buy it one time. This earns you enough money to buy you a pint in your local as you attempt to get over the fact you were conned and even though you projected success and visualised it and talked the talk that success remained as elusive as it always has before. But that asshole at the top of the pyramid? You sold three juice orders for them. And another 100 daft sods sold 3-5 each also which they all kicked up to the “CEO”. He made enough money to live off. And that is his job. That is the way it always was/is/will be. It’s never about being positive and achieving your dreams. It’s about money and these people are themselves the product you’re putting your money in.

The very worst part about all this is the social media posts about it all. The gullible idiots that get involved are constantly posting stuff like they are on the brink of world domination. And we’re all supposed to sit back totally in awe of what they’re about to achieve. Hashtags are all over the place suggesting outrageous things. #oneteamtakeover. #inspireglobal. #onelifeliveit. #mystorystartsnow. It is so difficult not to ridicule this insane attitude. One team takeover? The only thing these people can possibly takeover is the facebook block list. Inspire global? It won’t even make it out of your household. One life, live it? Well that’s obvious and we don’t really have a choice there. And everyone’s story started when they were born and you are not a special snowflake. The people that comment on these posts are super enthusiastic as they are all part of the same stupid con. They post the same crap and the same few people comment the same superficial words that don’t actually mean anything. Do these idiots really think they can just convert the masses with a few embarrassingly enthusiastic comments? It’s true when people say if it were that easy we’d all be doing it. And I truly resent the fact that these schemers and dreamers insult our intelligence and see their supposed friends as potential ways to make money. It’s offensive to be honest and I’ve been a hair’s breath away from interrupting the takeover with the only real comment on their shower of shit nonsensical facebook posts. These posts are so out of place. No normal miserable posts are allowed with this new outlook on life. Everything is just wonderful even if it’s raining and even if Kim Jong-Un starts firing nukes everything is still just absolutely tickety-boo. Nothing can interrupt the pre-launch of a product about to dominate the galaxy. Pre-launch? Seriously? So it isn’t out yet and oooh the build up is building excitement and creating demand right? It’s all so dumb to try to act professional and smart when it’s obviously lame as all hell. I mean, is there going to be a pre-launch party for this pineapple smoothie or what? We can have a pre-launch party to celebrate that it will be launched and then have another party when it’s actually launched and then another party next year when you’re winning awards right? Haha. It’s a takeover! There are only 10 smoothies left until they are all SOLD OUT so grab yours while you can BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE! Sign up for this ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY! Come on now we all know there will still be 10 smoothies left until you drink them yourself in 2019…

Positivity is not something you can just use as a special ingredient to turn yourself into the next Elon Musk. Sometimes positivity really can be detrimental to your efforts. It gives us the illusion that we’re going forwards when we’re really standing still. There’s nothing wrong with standing still except when you project an image of moving at the speed of light. For instance one thing these super-smart-asshole-guru-entrepreneurs will say is to write a list of all your goals and then you can begin achieving them step by step. Sounds good doesn’t it? So there you are thinking of the car you want and the house you want and where you want to travel and who you want to be with and where you want to be in five years time. And you begin excitedly writing all these lovely ideas down in the order you wish to achieve them. Once you finish writing down your goals you will then begin systematically achieving them all one at a time and you can feel good because that list is the very beginning of the most exciting time ever in your life so far. Let me tell you what writing that list has really achieved: absolutely fuck all. You had some daft thoughts in your head and now you’ve put those daft thoughts on paper. That’s all you’ve done. I guess in a mundane way those thoughts that were floating about in your head have now actually manifested physically as they now also exist in ink on a piece of paper. But it’s likely that is as close to making your dreams become reality as you will ever get. People that write lists are busy writing lists. The truly driven people (they’re stupid too but that’s another story) who are really successful are too busy to be writing stupid lists. It reminds of me of when I was a kid and had an essay to do for homework. I’d put it off and procrastinate until the last minute when I really had no choice but to start work on it. Eventually I’d sit at the table and get my paper and pens out. I’d read the question. I’d write the title of the essay down on the paper. And then I’d underline it. After this little ritual I’d feel like I’d finally started the essay and I’d feel great about it. I’d be convinced that it wasn’t going to be such a pain to write after all and it was actually easy and I’d started with no drama at all. Feeling good about this start I’d go and make a coffee and find some music to put on to reward myself. And then I’d end up messing about listening to various songs and doing nothing for like another hour with only a title to show for my efforts with the whole essay still to do and time ticking away. The positive vibes were a hindrance. They say a start no matter how small is a start but not if it’s so small to be negligible. Don’t write lists. In fact we should avoid thinking about the future at all. Fuck your goals. There is only now and time is an illusion. It doesn’t matter how many juice or Avon orders you sell because you’re probably still a stupid asshole. Focus on just being less of an asshole in the here and now rather than writing lists about what moronic deeds you hope to achieve in the future you complete and utter fool.

Sometimes the illusion is so powerful for these people that they’ll say things like “nothing can stop me achieving my dreams, I’ll never give up as I’m far too determined”. That determination is actually another weakness. It’s better to realise you’ve failed and give up rather than remain trying to beat a dead horse and hoping it will beat Douvan. These people have it in their heads that not even failure can stop them and eventually they will succeed. It really is a nice sentiment. “The master has failed more times than the student has tried” and all that jazz. But when it comes to these schemes just by signing up to them you have already totally failed and yet failed to realise you’ve failed. And amidst this spectacular failure you’re strutting around like you’re about to knock out Floyd Mayweather. It’s just so irritating. And that’s why positivity needs to be reigned in a bit lately. Too much of anything is a bad thing, even those good ass vibes. Balance is important. Keep neutral. Feet should be in physical contact with the bastard Earth when things are going right and when you’re down feet still need to walk the Earth rather than swinging from a tree.

So that’s it. A negative review/rant about positivity. And after releasing all of these negative thoughts to this page I actually feel more positive myself. Like it was a cleansing. Maybe now I’m in the right frame of mind to write a list and try to sell some blended kale to the couple of friends I have and have my own takeover. Start small and end up smashing Amazon. My time is now people! Bear witness to what comes next! It all starts here! Step 1) log off internet and make a peppermint tea. Here we go! #werunthiscity #rememberthename #greatnessawaits #ilikepepperminttea





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Daily Bread

Therapy session 413.

I haven’t written here for over two months. Haven’t had a lot to say. There hasn’t been too much to motivate me lately. Other than Glastonbury and the odd social event here and there.

I’m feeling pretty crap on this bland Sunday evening. It’s times like this where I would love to have a big group of friends and acquaintances that were always available. I wish to just be able to walk into my local pub and see so many familiar faces that after my beer has been poured I have to pause and decide which conversation I’m going to join first. Just one big, tight group of pals that have been through highs and lows over the years. The kind of group where maybe not all of them are always out but at least some of them are always in that local pub at any given time. And you don’t even need to text or ring them to find out where they are or what the plan is. It’s simply a case of deciding you fancy meeting up with your pals and going to the local where the group always goes. It would always be handy to take your mind off things. There would never be any need to wallow in your own self-pity like I currently am. Stupid.

It’s just hard some days to see the answers to problems of your own making. If my brain is the problem then how do I use my brain to fix my problems since it is the very cause in the first place? I used to at least have some vague aims in life. Move somewhere, do something different. Now I can’t be bothered to move and yet also don’t want to stay. I don’t want to move up. Going down is not an option since I’m at the goddamn bottom anyways. Sideways is sometimes nice for a change but even that seems pointless now. Some days I speak to nobody and nobody speaks to me and I like it. Some days that happens and I hate it and just need to do something. But then if I do something some days I just wish to be alone again. Just totally restless. I want to do things but when doing things I want to do nothing.

It’s daft and I know all of these thoughts are temporary. These days where I feel like this are as bad as it ever gets and in the grand scheme of things it isn’t too bad relative to some of the shit that people have to endure. I shouldn’t moan. It’s just a bit of mental illness. It’ll be fine.

I just need a break. They say that you have to get up and make things happen but I don’t seem capable of doing that so I really just need the Universe to fix it all for me. There has to be some purpose out there and so I’m going to write now to a higher power. Call it The Universe. Call it God. Called it a Supreme Creator. It doesn’t matter and It probably doesn’t exist. But if It does exist then I want to talk to the Son Of A Bitch.

Dear Universe/God/Whatever,

You may not exist at all as I have no clue about why we’re here and whether You caused it or some other mystery is to blame. If You exist then I guess You wanted us to figure out our own meaning but I’m struggling with that. If You don’t exist then I’m just talking to myself right now which doesn’t hurt. Just a bit more wasted time. But let’s say for argument’s sake that I’m not acting like a total retard right now and You are actually reading these words as if I’m sending you an e-mail. First off, hello. I would love it if You would communicate with me in some way. But this can’t be in some really vague way as I may not notice it or understand. It needs to be clear instructions that cannot be mistaken. Otherwise any random stupid thought from my own ridiculous brain could be the cause of my actions instead of your Divine Will since I would miss your point and do my own thing assuming it was what You wanted. So be clear.

Why should You communicate with me? Well, there are billions of people that believe that You are communicating with them. If that is true then it doesn’t seem fair. Why can’t I have these revelations? Is it something I’ve done wrong? If so, You could just tell me what I did to piss You off so I can refrain from doing it in future.

Also, You can be frank with me. I know the Bible is bollocks and is definitely not Your Word. I know anybody who tells me to look for You there is misguided. It would be cool if You could explain to the World that the Bible is nonsense since it’s so frustrating to see an ancient and inaccurate document be used to make people think they’re doing what You want them to when really they’re making it up as they go along and just doing whatever the hell they want anyway.

So with clear instruction is there anything You would like me to do? Since You went to the effort to create this complex Universe and included me in it (which I am really grateful for) then there must be something I can do for You right? I’m missing the point so far. The things I’ve felt like were my purpose have been shown to be redundant. So I’m clearly a dumbass. They say listen to yourself and follow your dreams. I don’t know what my dreams are anymore. I’m just aimless and frustrated. So I ask with sincerity for your guidance. E-mail me the answers. You definitely have the power to do that and it would be impolite to not reply to me and also if You are really such a good Being then You won’t turn somebody away when they ask for help surely. If You don’t reply You either don’t want to and that is definitely not good or You cannot do it and that means You have no power or influence in this world. Or it means You can’t reply because You don’t exist. Since by creating the Universe you proved your power we can rule it out that You cannot do it. So You either don’t exist or You hate me. It really is that simple. It’s proof that You are either evil or a lie. And either option there is not great for anybody. We’re either governed by an evil psychopath or we’re all totally without guidance or purpose. If You really don’t exist then I’ll just have to carry on with my own current path which is a downward spiral to utter self destruction in the most mundane way possible. Anyway, hope all is well with You and I look forward to settling this matter. You know my email address. Good day to You, peace.


…There we go. That is my prayer. I would feel daft actually saying a prayer so thought I’d write it all. It was something to do. It did take my mind off my confusion. I hate to be wrapped up in my own issues. I just cannot take feeling inadequate all the time. I need to find my home in this world if there is such a place. We all need purpose.

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As I write this we are two days away from the 2017 General Election to decide who will be in government for the next 5 years. I’ve been so caught up in it all it’s almost all I’ve thought about since this election was called. And in a few days it will all be over and an outcome will be known.

In some ways I miss the days where I didn’t care much about politics. It was so much easier to just think that all politicians are useless and to not really mind who won. I used to just have a favourite leader and would back that person based on how stately they seemed. So I liked Blair and therefore liked Labour. However I preferred David Cameron at the time to Gordon Brown and wasn’t displeased at having a change in government in 2010. By 2015 I hated Cameron but also didn’t think much to Ed Miliband and so didn’t vote. I’ve never voted in anything except for the EU Referendum. But in 2015 during the Labour leadership contest between Andy Burnham, Yvette Cooper, Liz Kendall and Jeremy Corbyn I got drawn into politics in a massive way. For the first time ever I saw a politician who really resonated with me as he did with many others. As I’ve matured I’ve become far more liberal with my views and have ended up fully believing that left wing politics is the way forward for everybody and Corbyn is the first leader I’ve ever known to seem to really believe in what he says and what we hope for. It was a surprise to me that after starting off the leadership contest as an outsider he seemed to quickly become the favourite as people listened to him and started to support him. I was one of those that swiftly became a member of Labour to vote for him. And since then he’s had to battle the media and his own parliamentary party as well as the government constantly and he’s done it admirably. I despised the fact Labour MP’s tried to oust him despite massive support from members. He deserves a united team and a fair crack at a General Election before anybody should even think about a change in leadership. And here we are. After nearly two years of supporting the movement we are two days from judgement day. Was all of the support and momentum just for nothing?

Well, it seems like that may be the case. It isn’t easy to fight the constant bullshit from the papers. Social media has been doing a great job of balancing it all out by constantly challenging every little piece of propaganda. It’s actually kind of fun at times although at other times it can drive you crazy. I’m starting to think a free press is maybe not such a great thing. People are too gullible to have papers freely printing total lies. You should always be able to give opinions but I don’t think printing something that isn’t a fact as a fact should be allowed anymore. The truth should be all that matters and if people have the truth and all of the relevant information about a topic then they should be able to make up their own minds. Yet that often isn’t the case. A paper will print a lie and say it is the truth and people will believe it. We’re all capable of doing our own research yet many of us are lazy it seems. The amount of people that believe Jeremey Corbyn is an IRA supporter who is anti-British is astounding and I’ll challenge that shit wherever I see it. Gullible people lap this up and believe in the Tory propaganda and so are sheep marching towards their own slaughter. There are three types of Tory voter from what I can see. 1) The rich and powerful who want to keep their taxes low whilst keeping wages low and they do not give a crap about the majority of people or public services since they only selfishly care about themselves and the people around them. 2) Gullible idiots who actually believe that Corbyn is a maniac and a lunatic and the Tories are sensible and looking out for us while dealing with a difficult financial situation that conveniently seems to be lasting forever. 3) A reasonable human that defies all possible explanation as they aren’t selfish and aren’t stupid but for some incomprehensible reason seems to think that the Tories are better for everyone when compared to Labour. This third category are a strange breed to me as it means I am misguided and on the wrong side and so having done my own research I have made wrong assumptions and need to seriously have a re-think about why I am so stupid. Yet this seems not to be the case as every statistic I come across seems to support the fact that the NHS is underfunded, the national debt is rising, there is a housing crisis, there are many cuts to the police force and all of this is under the current government who also want foxes to be ripped apart for their own pleasure.

Despite these facts as soon as the election was called people wrote off Labour’s chances and a massive Conservative win was predicted with a much increased majority. My own constituency is an ex-mining community that was battered by the Tories and yet it is widely predicted that the Tories will win here for the third straight election. The area doesn’t have many millionaires so it means I’m living in a place where the majority of my fellow humans are gullible or misguided. It drives me mad to constantly debate the issues with some of these people and be unable to make them see sense. For when it comes to this topic of who should rightly win this election I have never in my life been so sure of anything. I’m so sure that we all need a Labour win. I believe in it more than I believe that smoking is daft and illogical. I believe in Labour more than I believed in remaining in the EU and I was 99.8% sure that that was the right thing to do also. I believe Labour are good for the British people in the same way I believe water is good for the people. It is totally black and white for me. Theresa May keeps saying we have a clear choice and she is damn right there. It’s like being asked if you’d rather have a hug or a punch in the face. Except more people are begging for a punch in the face rather than choosing a hug. When in the voting booth it says as much about a person as when looking in the mirror. You will find out who you really are. Many people have an inner bastard at times. And the inner bastard comes out in that booth for all who vote for that toxic bunch of fraudulent and lying arseholes.

What is mad to me also is that Theresa May during this election has said nothing of substance at all. Her party offers nothing. They even freely admit that they will take more from everybody with total faith that the people are so suitably brainwashed that none of the malice they come up with for us will matter. She bangs on about having a strong hand to negotiate the best deal for Brexit and yet she cannot even debate her opponents or answer any questions from the public. She had a meeting with Jean-Claude Juncker about Brexit and it didn’t go well at all. Further evidence that she lacks the finesse these talks will require. This election is about Brexit but not in the way she claims it is. She knows that when we leave the EU in 2019 times will be hard and the British public will feel it. She knows there will be a backlash against the current government and from 2019 to the 2020 election there wouldn’t have been enough time to sweeten up the Sheeple again and so the Tories would have been booted out emphatically. This election was called during a time that Labour were perceived to be weak and so that after Brexit she has until 2022 to butter up the masses again. The Tories will never let go of this power and every rich asshole that prints propaganda and gives out millions in donations are there to see that the rich and powerful always remain that way to the extent that the gap between the elite and the working class is getting wider all the time. Eventually we have to fight back and why not now? Why not on Thursday upset the apple cart and actually narrow the gap? We’re all born equal and we can take nothing of this world to the grave so why are many people struggling to have a roof over their head and buy food while some people are partying on a yacht 24/7 whilst being propped up by a working force that is grossly underpaid and undervalued? It isn’t right and a Labour win is the peaceful and easiest way to address this issue just a little tiny bit. The alternative is eventual bloody riots. People will not let the NHS crumble. All we need is for the masses to wake the hell up and the system comes crashing down. Surely the elite must realise they have to filter some of that wealth back into the system via tax? Hard work should be rewarded definitely but it’s just ridiculous at the moment. The elite don’t seem to understand that without a population capable of buying the products or services that a company offers they wouldn’t be in the lofty position they are fortunate to find themselves in. And yet they under fund the NHS and sell parts of it off. When we all fucking pay for it and need it. Everywhere you look there is this rhetoric of needing to watch the pennies. Everywhere you look there are cuts and closures. Everywhere you look the price of living is rising faster than wage growth. And despite all this the debt is growing and bankers are taking massive bonuses while we continue to bomb all hell out of the Middle East and then moan and blame immigrants for the occasional psychopath blowing themselves up on our land when it’s the immigrants that are carrying the damn NHS on their backs. It’s just too much bullshit to tollerate and I can’t even put it into a consistent argument without going into a tangent due to some other injustice that comes to the forefront since all of the bullshit is weighing so heavily and crushing us all from every bastard angle.

Also usually in a choice like this I see a right option and an “interesting” option. Remain in the EU was right but Brexit is a huge change and was the interesting choice. Trump is a terrible President but it’s at least interesting. The Tories are not only wrong but also utterly boring. Corbyn is not only right but also a change and a breath of fresh air. It’s the interesting choice. The anti-establishment option. It’s an added bonus. If he fucks it all up (which he won’t) then we’ll go back to some more central Labour leader and go back to the boring Tory vs Tory Lite elections. But for once can we not see if we can ever have a progressive socialist in power?

Basically, the Tories need to go. Their whole manifesto is a total shower of shit. And Jeremy Corbyn is the answer. He reminds me of how the Jews treated the old JC in some ways. Jesus was one of their own. He preached peace and love and wisdom. And the people hated Him for it and had Him executed. That’s what it’s like being a working class dude in Tory Britain today. One of our own has come to help us out and he has a 40 year record that is untarnished. Every single time he votes on anything it is the admirable choice he goes for and even when his choices have been unpopular at the time they have proven to be right later on as the guy is ahead of his time. He’s truly noble and honest. He’s loyal and hard working and the strongest leader I’ve seen in politics. He listens to people and genuinely has compassion for the people. In his constituency he is untouchable. That says a lot right? The people that he’s been working for over the decades consistently vote him back in and nobody gets close. The Labour members and grassroots members of momentum back him unequivocally. And yet many of the people that he would help would nail him to a cross given the chance. People call him a traitor and a lunatic and soft and will vote for the enemy.

But maybe they won’t. While there is still time there is still hope. And the fact that the gap in the polls has been closed so quickly speaks wonders about the fact that when people hear the message they are receiving it well. It was a foregone conclusion but maybe it will be closer than they thought. If Theresa May doesn’t extend her majority that will be a form of victory. In the face of ridicule  and with predictions of a 100+ majority to go through the campaign and not secure a strengthened hand will at least make her look stupid and show her arrogance was misplaced. But we need more than that. We need to fight for every vote in every constituency. And I hope people think tactically. If the Liberal Democrats are comfortably better placed to take a Tory seat than Labour are then I hope people vote for them instead. If you’re a Lib Dem fan and yet Labour are the only chance of winning the seat in your constituency then I hope you understand that your vote for Lib Dem is wasted there and join forces with Labour voters to ensure we win there. There are many parties vying for the progressive vote but only two parties for the nasty vote and one of them is UKIP who are being read their Last Rites. So voting tactically is crucial. Every Labour, Green and Lib Dem voter would prefer there to not be a Tory government. I would be happy for a coalition government between these parties but Corbyn has ruled this out. So the only outcomes for the election are Tory majority, Tory-lead coalition, Tory minority, Labour majority or Labour minority. A Labour majority is highly unlikely. So the most likely and maybe only possible non Tory government is a Labour minority. And the only way this happens is if the progressive left rises to smash these bastards and take as many seats as possible. If you see The Sun or Daily Mail lying (lol) around the staff room put it in the bin. Put all Tory propaganda in the bin. Keep all their activists busy. Challenge anything that isn’t factual and spread the Labour message.  I really hope we fight the fucking system and give them the middle finger.

I could write until my fingers drop off about how every view Jeremy Corbyn has seems logical, about every lie in every paper or about every fucked up policy Theresa May has (dementia tax? You’re serious?). But the information is out there. The facts cannot be changed. The truth is unwavering and it cares not one bit for any spin. And so I may as well wrap up this political rant that I meant to be something that I put some thought into so as to maybe persuade people to vote Labour but I was unable to do anything but show how bloody angry and passionate I am about this. That will have to do. I am nervous and excited and exhausted mentally with regards to June the 8th. All I can do is speak the truth that I know to whoever is around to hear it and vote and encourage others to vote. We’re so powerless individually but collectively is what matters. There is only one party that can win and that also truly cares about the collective and I hope the majority of the collective realise this come Thursday. If you’re on the fence then properly have a think about what’s best for you, your family and friends and the nation and then make an independent choice. I am fairly sure that the surge in Labour polls will make this a close contest but we will likely fall short unless something truly spectacular happens. And if it does then I’ll have been happy to have been the tiniest part of it. So for the good of the many and not just the few I urge everybody to consider voting for Labour in this election.

Peace and love x

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