Well this is it. This is the year I need a career. I’m finally at a point where messing around doesn’t seem like the easier option anymore, it seems like a depressing path to be on. All of my life I’ve had ambitions to have a successful career, I worked fairly hard at school and did well. Teachers were always praising me to the point where my Mum has always had high hopes for me. The family have kept track of my progress. From GCSE results, to A-level results to a degree in Maths. It was clear that I was going somewhere and destined for great things. I graduated in June 2008 and since then…nothing. Progress stopped.
There are a number of reasons for this. Firstly, I had no idea what I wanted to do. Although I’ve always wanted to do something I’ve never known what that something was. Others are fortunate enough to have been born with a desire to be a doctor or a lawyer or whatever; I had no dream job. So I needed time to think about where to go next. I’d only ever planned as far as uni. So I thought I’d get my old job back in a pub since being on the dole was a personal embarrassment for me (I was only on the dole for about two months). This was supposed to be a temporary measure while I figured out what awesome career I was going to get. But I was a mess back then. The loss of structure in my life hit me hard and I was drinking a lot. And a certain event happened that will probably affect me for the rest of my life. But I’ll save that for another blog. After a couple of months of going from washing dishes to cooking starters to cooking mains and a few pay rises along the way I started to feel trapped. So I decided to travel. Me and a couple of mates booked flights to go to Thailand, Australia and Singapore for September 2009. It was a three month trip and kept me in my pub job so I could save up spending money. Plus I knew they would have me back after the trip when I would be in need of money. Not many jobs would let you fuck off to the other side of the world for a quarter of a year and then still have you back. So that is how at the start of 2010 I still found myself in a crap job that I had no wish to keep for long.
But since then I have no excuses. Ok, I had a maxed out credit card that I spent all year paying off. But a year has passed and I’m still there. And now I’m thinking of booking a £700 driving course which requires two weeks off work and that is keeping me there. The thing is there always seems to be some reason that I come up with for staying. Part of me just wants to get any other job anywhere just for something different. But I’d be starting at the bottom with no experience and I’d have to take a paycut. This is where it feels like a trap. Sure I can leave, but I’d lose money. Not a viable option.
Also, from the age of 17 to 21 I was living away from home. From 21 to 24 (excluding the three months travelling) I have been at home. I’m sick of that. Me and my Mum do each other’s head in sometimes. I need to get away but don’t have enough money for my own place and nobody to really share a place with since everybody is either too comfortable at their parents’ place or have already moved away and got a career somewhere.
So I need a career. I need a change in my life. I need to be 100% independent and living away from home again. I don’t want to live in the midlands, I did my degree in Liverpool and I want to go back there. The potential answer to all of my problems appears to be a career in teaching.
I never had any particular desire to be a teacher. I know people that have wanted to teach kids for as long as they remember. Not me. It’s not that I hate kids because I don’t. But realistically I know how it is in a classroom and most of the time is probably spent trying to get their attention rather than explaining things to them and helping them to understand topics. I don’t know if I have the required patience. I know I know things but I don’t know if I can pass that knowledge on effectively to kids. I don’t have much experience there. But this is more than a career choice. It seems like the perfect way out for me. The option of teaching Maths must have been designed for me. The PGCE course requires a year at uni. I can apply for Liverpool and be back there in student accommodation. That gets me away from this miserable place back to a city I love and gets me away from my Mum’s house and into my own place. So far so good.
Boredom would be cured. I’d be too busy to be bored with essays and assignments and lesson planning and doing lessons. I’d learn new things and refresh what I’d started to forget about maths. I’d get a £9,000 bursary and a loan so for that year I’d probably have more money than full time work in the pub. It’s a path to a good career. Maths teachers are in high demand so there won’t be that much competition for a job. A job is inevitable and the starting salary is a minimum of £21,588 and after a year there is a £5,000 golden hello for maths teachers. Working upto the Head of Maths at a school is a realistic target with an improved salary. It would finally give my family something to be proud about. All that expectation throughout my life would have ended with a great career just like everybody (me included) thought it would.
So that is definitely worth a shot. I’ve filled in a lot of the application form. I’m currently trying to get some lesson observing experience because course providers like all that stuff. I still have huge doubts though. But maybe it’s natural. I have doubts about whether I’d be a good teacher but maybe everybody does. I certainly had some crap teachers over the years. Maybe I’d be a fantastic teacher, you never know. And I am passionate about Maths and always like to pass on knowledge if I can. I also worry about what kids might say to me. They can say what they like and I have to be a responsible adult and not react. I don’t know how I will find that. And I have long hair for a guy. I do remember two occasions of having male teachers with long hair. But it’s probably frowned upon. But I want long hair and everybody has to accept that lol. But these are minor doubts. We only live once and I should definitely go for it right? If I hate it then after the PGCE course I’ll have to find something else. But at least I’ll be in Liverpool and at least I tried so I knew. I guess this blog has been me giving myself a final extra push. I’m trying to make myself motivated by looking at all the positives. I mean there’s even all that paid holiday time to think about. Six weeks in the summer!? You shitting me? Yes please!
Anyways I suppose I should go about my day now. See ya.