I really enjoy writing rhymes, it’s probably the most creative thing I do. It allows me to get a lot of things off my chest and I can put it in a form that is interesting to read and even memorable to me. And I like to think that these rhymes are something that I’ve created that will last forever, longer than I live for if there’s always somebody around to potentially read them.
But I don’t know what to call these things that I write. I try to rhyme it all in a complex way with multiple rhyme schemes at the same time. I think about syllables and the beat to each line. I guess since I’ve always loved hip hop that my rhymes are more like raps. Except I never intend to rap them, I don’t think about how it would sound as a song. It is meant to be read. I wouldn’t call it a poem and don’t really like calling it a rap. I guess it’s a cross between the two.
They are getting quite complicated these days though. Years ago I would spend a few hours writing one and would do one every couple of months. But I feel like I need to make each one better than the last and don’t feel like I have the time required to write them anymore. But occasionally I still write. I was planning on doing one every year but the one I started last year seemed so ambitious that I gave up on it. However due to some nice comments recently about my previous efforts I have decided to give it a go again. And I’ve remembered why this one will be so hard to write. Firstly, to out rhyme my last one will take some doing. In fact I don’t even know if I can do that again, that was me at my peak. Also the way I want to write this will be really hard to do. During the rap/poem I will be sharing a lot of feelings but they will be via dreams and nightmares. But I’m going to include the whole sleep cycle. The first verse will be when I’m falling asleep and thinking about things in a dreamy way. Then I’ll be in a deep sleep and expressing feelings in a really positive way where everything has already turned out well. This is where I’m having a nice dream. The next verse will be REM sleep where I’m not sleeping so deeply and although still dreaming it will be realistic and will be recalling the things that were wrong with the previous dream even though they are slipping away. Then it will be deep sleep again but a nightmare version of reality. And then I’ll wake up, trying to process the night’s dreams even though they’re fading. It will also be difficult to write since I’m talking about things I don’t even like to talk about but it’s about time I got it all off my chest once and for all. So it’s definitely ambitious and as of yet maybe only 5-10% complete. I hope I get to finish it and if I do it will be the first one I put on here. I just need to find the right balance between saying what I want to say and rhyming. We’ll see.