A lot of the time in life what you think and what you hope for simply does not matter. Kind deeds go unnoticed. Encouraging words fall on deaf ears. You can be curious about the world and how things work and try to learn things. But no matter how intelligent you are or what qualifications you have it alone will not be enough to guarantee a good career and happiness like you thought it might.
All of my life I’ve been a deep thinker. I’ve always been interested in things and always did well at school. I’ve also always try to be a good person. I never bully people. I’m a peace keeper. I try to imagine things from the point of view of others so as to understand them better. All of this requires a lot of thought. And it hasn’t really got me anywhere other than allow me to have a few close friends (who I do appreciate a lot).
So with that in mind and by looking at how other people have achieved more than me I have had a change in philosophy when it comes to using my brain. At the end of the day we humans are basically animals. We often rely on instinct and logical thoughts seem to influence decisions a lot less than we would imagine. It’s all about how you project yourself. What does it matter what qualifications you have and how intelligent you are if in an interview somebody else seems to have experienced more and seems like a more fun guy to be around? Some people just ooze confidence and that is enough. It negates all that I worked for. And the same with relationships. People decide whether they want to be with somebody before they know them. I’m the same. I see a pretty girl and that’s it, I’m there. And I seem to adjust to them and adapt to them to the point where it didn’t really matter what they were like as a person since some chemical attraction has drawn me to them. Thoughts don’t matter. Personality only increases or decreases what is already somehow naturally there.
This realisation has lead me to change my behaviour slightly. Knowing a lot about certain things is a waste of time when life is short. And getting to know girls with small talk and normal conversations is also often a waste. Sometimes it’s just about the chemicals and it’s there or it isn’t. Impulsive decisions overrule and often defy logic. So I think I need to just dick around, have fun and relax about all of this. And also I have changed my diet and have been working out a lot. Something successful people all seem to have in common is drive and determination. And I have lost motivation. This new hobby has forced me to at least be determined about something. And I feel like when it comes to jobs, girls and everybody’s perspective of me that if I project determination then it is more likely that chemical reactions and impulses to consider me over some other person for anything at all are more likely to go my way.
Instead of reading a book, I’ll push some weights. It feels good. It feels like I am on a comeback. Matter over mind.
Peace and love x