Politically correct. Health and safety. Previous experience required. Equal rights. CCTV. War on terror. Petrol prices. Interest rates. Mortgages. Credit rating. Inflation. Food allergies. Religion. Racism. Ignorance. Manufactured pop bands. CO2 emissions. Global warming. VAT. Tax avoidance. Job seeker’s allowance. Working tax credits. Signatures. Contracts. Terms and conditions. The law. Advertisements. Upselling. Cold calling. McDonald’s. Parental guidance. Vegetarians. Recycling.
These are just some things or phrases that for me suck the fun out of life. Some days it gets so tedious it’s silly. We’re treated like idiots and most of us actually are idiots. I don’t even know where to begin really. Let’s start with health and safety. At my place of work I guess food safety is a bit important. You don’t want to kill anybody and efforts should be made to ensure most people don’t get too ill if possible. But Jesus Christ. Some of the rules that we are supposed to follow are a bit OTT. And the paperwork that goes along with it is literally a joke to us. Food should be kept cold if put in a fridge. And food should be kept frozen if put in a freezer. That should be that rule done and dusted. But no. Oh no. This has to be checked and checked and checked. Twice daily we are supposed to check the temperature of food in each fridge and freezer and this needs to be wrote down. 730 times every year. Technically if the food probes at 7.9 degrees Celsius then that is cool. 8.0 degrees though and we have a fucking problem. Rules, rules, rules. Cooked chicken is obviously cooked cause you can look at it and see that it is cooked. But sometimes we should probe it to check the temperature is at least 75 degrees (did they pluck that number out of their arse? Maybe). And here’s the thing. If it is cooked like you can see that it is then it will always be over 75 degrees. But still. Check and write that shit down. Opened milk should be thrown out after two days even if it is in date. At home I use milk that has been open for 7 or 8 days sometimes. What does it matter? And don’t get me started on colour coded tools. I guess they’re trying to make the job idiot proof. But I find it all so irritating. Here is their logic: raw meat sometimes contains blood. Blood is red. Therefore everything ever to even remotely come into contact with raw meat should be red to prevent cross contamination. So that means a red chopping board, a red knife, red tongs. Need to clean up? That’ll be the red cloth then. How about a mop? Red mop head on a red mop handle. The water that goes into the bucket must obviously go into a red bucket. Fish goes in the sea. The sea is blue. So for fish let’s go ape shit with the colour blue. Bread is white. Cooked meat is yellow. But what about a steak sandwich? Hhhmmm. Bread is white and steak is yellow. This creates a problem that can never be solved. Which knife and which board? There are lives at steak (lol) goddamnit! It should be easy. If you slice raw chicken then just do not use that knife when chopping cucumber. Wash the knife. The colour doesn’t matter unless you are a completely stupid bastard.
And food allergies. Give me a break. People these days are wheat intolerant, lactose intolerant and require a gluten free menu. Back when we were cavemen and hunted for food did any of us give a shit about things like this? I doubt even the 75 degree temperature was adhered to. And vegetarians. What is going on there? You don’t eat bacon? Why the hell not? And then half of them don’t even like the vegetarian products. Just why bother going out for a meal? Stay at home with your beans on toast.
Recycling. Everybody everywhere is recycling crazy these days. I remember a few years ago if you had some rubbish then you went to the bin and put it in. No thought required. Easy. Nowadays you have decisions to make. Firstly, exactly what kind of rubbish are you talking about here? Is it food? Paper? Plastic? Glass? Metal? This is important else the bin men won’t take it even though that is their only role in society. None of these categories should be mixed up and they all go in separate (and differently coloured) bins. Must recycle. Wouldn’t want to waste all this paper.
And bills these days. Ok, you have to pay rent and buy food. Internet? Ok, sure. Phone contract? A bit expensive but why not. I guess we have to pay for electricity too. But council tax? Just what the hell is that about? Where does the money go? Roads getting ripped up left right and centre from what I can see. And we have to pay for water? Two thirds of the bastard planet is covered in the stuff and it is as essential to life as oxygen (there will be a charge on that one day, they’ll say that keeping CO2 emissions down is a costly affair and pass it on to us). Yet we have to pay for it. Ok, if you say so. But part of what I pay for is for the fact that there is surface run off which runs off my flat and goes into the drains. Rain is a natural occurrence. The drains are there for a reason. It is their job. Why the hell does it require money off me? When they clean it all up and send it back through our taps the least they could do is maybe flavour the water a bit. How about a hint of lemon? No? Bollocks to you then.
Then there is this working tax credit loop hole which is a complete and utter joke. You have people who won’t work more than 30 hours because if they do they won’t get paid working tax credits and will earn less money. You cannot blame them really. Why work more and gain nothing? I should really do it myself too. But it shouldn’t be like that. It should be beneficial to work as much as you can. This is more stupid bullshit that should be sorted out.
Another thing that annoys me is this: companies are so determined to be seen to be an equal opportunities kind of employer that they are starting to positively discriminate against the people that used to make up the work force. All that needs to be done is to not think about race, gender and sexuality when offering somebody a job. Just don’t let it enter your head. That’s it. But by constantly thinking about it and trying not to have all white, straight men then you are sometimes just going for lesbians from Poland just for your image. The world has gone mad. “Who has the best skills?” should surely be the only question when employing somebody.
But it’s even worse than that. Qualifications and intelligence just do not matter any more. The only thing that matters is experience. I can see it to a point. A person with more experience is less of a gamble. They are more likely to hit the ground running. But surely it is not the only thing that matters. How can somebody with 6 months experience of answering a phone in a work environment but with no GCSEs be better qualified than a person who has all kinds of qualifications but with only experience of being a chef? It is not like the chef has never answered a phone call in general day to day life now is it? What if the reason for a person’s work experience is because they are a bit of a job hopper? No loyalty means they may leave your place after a few months anyway. Why not opt for the guy who stuck it out at a shit job for a few years? How about give that guy a chance? How about give me a bloody chance?
There are all these things that annoy me. And when added with my fear of time going by so fast and never having enough time due to it being wasted it really makes me sort of wish a little bit that North Korea would just nuke the shit out of the world so we could start again. No more bills or credit cards. No more job applications. No more bureaucratic bullshit. Just find some wood. Build a fire. Find some food. Eat. Sleep. Shit. Piss. Breathe. Run around in the sun and the radiation like a happy little fucker without a care in the world. All you need is the clothes you wear and a tooth brush. And perhaps a knife. Only in this world the colour of it most certainly does not matter in the slightest x