2thousand&4teen

“Through our eyes, the universe is perceiving itself. Through our ears, the universe is listening to its harmonies. We are the witnesses through which the universe becomes conscious of its glory, of its magnificence”

 

present-moment

 

The past and the future are illusions. All that exists is now. 2014 is like any other calendar year. Just a human concept that isn’t based on reality. We experienced it and had highs and lows. Things happened. But it is gone and we shouldn’t dwell on it. We should have enjoyed it while it was 2014 but now going forwards we should carry on with whatever is happening now. 2014 will become a fading dream. Just another part of what makes us who we are. The past is just a part of our present experience in this reality.

But having said that, just for shits and giggles I think I will dwell on it for this present moment. As I type this it is the 364th day of the year. I can’t see much more happening other than a day of rest followed by a day of work and then a piss up with some lovely people to see in the New Year. For me the whole New Year’s Eve celebrations are massively overrated. I do not like time passing so quickly and so don’t like to celebrate it as I’d like it all to slow down really before I get dizzy. But that is a poor way of looking at things I suppose since I am an infinite being anyway haha. So it’s cool to use it as an excuse to get merry again and say some stupid things hoping that nobody will remember them.

I went into 2014 with hopes for a good year but still without any idea of where I am heading in life. I woke up in January 2014 all alone. I cannot begin to describe how alone I can feel sometimes and this is magnified during the festive period. Families are so close and are always doing things. Couples are having a beautiful time. Friends are meeting up daily to have a laugh with a few beers. And I have a lot of work to do. And a family that either doesn’t speak to me much or lives too far for me to reach on Christmas Day without a car and with no public transport. I wake up with nobody and go to sleep with nobody. And back then I’d wonder what I’d done so wrong in the world to be this way when most people are surrounded by nothing but love. I have amazing friends for sure. But we all have our own lives at the end of the day and it can be tough. So when the festive period ended and 2014 began I felt relief. Then we’re able to go back to normal where my solitude doesn’t feel like it’s under a microscope for everybody to see.

2014 went by so fast. It seemed like there was always a big event just a few weeks away to look forward to so I barely had time to stop and think too much. I tried to give up alcohol forever and lasted just over three weeks. Still, I realised I didn’t need the stuff like I thought I did. Then the first event of the year came along. Belfast with my friend Marc. It was awesome to see Belfast rocking. Quite friendly too considering the war zone it used to be. Considering the beers and whiskeys that were getting smacked down I have no idea how the hell we got home. Barely remember the plane or train. That trip set the tone for the year. Many merry occasions. Many times where we knew our limits and then proceeded to exceed them.

The great occasions kept popping up every few weeks. Stag do for a weekend in Newquay, Glastonbury, Eminem at Wembley, Stag do in Portugal, a couple of wedding receptions and parties and various nights out with cool people. As well as the World Cup though that was ultimately disappointing. I spent far too much time around Rugeley with a few beers chatting shit but it was all good fun. Glastonbury was one of the best times of my life. Most of the year was a right laugh. Pretty much until December came along and I spent too much time analysing myself as we headed into another hectic and slightly sad festive period.

In 2015 I have only one plan so far but it is a great one. I’ll be spending nearly 4 weeks travelling around Vietnam. I imagine it will be like Thailand so basically paradise. That’s nearly a twelfth of that year taken care of. I need to book some other things too. Not ruling out doing a festival. Would love a crazy weekend away somewhere with some friends if anyone is interested. Maybe Eastern Europe as we’ve mentioned that a few times. But basically I don’t want to look too far ahead. It’s all about living for the moment and enjoying it. With my new philosophy my ambitions have changed. I went into 2014 needing a career but worrying that it will never happen. Now I don’t care. Careers are unimportant. I’ll never let a job take over my life. And that’s my aim where jobs are concerned. They’re simply a way to let me do the things I want to do and continue to have a roof over my head. That’s all I need. I am humble there now. And I know opportunities will present themselves if I have the right attitude. The way I feel right now I would have no problem doing something like working on a cruise ship and seeing some more of the world. Money doesn’t matter. Living matters. I still feel that I need to leave my current job but it is for different reasons now. The company I work for are just absolutely all about creating profit for shareholders. They do nothing for the world. It’s constant pressure to do more for them while they give you less and less. And this is a difficult environment to achieve some kind of peace in. I find myself angry when I really try hard not to be. I have no interest at all in achieving any of their targets. It does nothing for me and nothing for anybody. Even the shareholders that make a profit do not realise just how unimportant any of that is. No matter how much “wealth” you think you have you do not actually own anything and never will. All you have is your mind and your connections to those around you. And with this in mind I need a job where I can find peace and actually do something for others. That is my new aim. There are others that think like me and I will try to connect with them a bit and get advice. All will be well there. Thankfully I didn’t find a career that made me rich before I had these realisations else I would have been so attached to a materialistic way of life that I may never have escaped. I would have become even more unhappy in the long run but may have had too many work based targets as well as booked set holidays to ever truly realise it. So it is easy for me to walk into the unknown as I am not attached to anything. I have no ties and I have complete freedom. I’m grateful for that.

Anyway, that’s where my head is at right now as we go into 2015. My aims are not just for the new year but for everyday. I’m always going to try to be mindful and positive. I hope to connect with others that think like me. I’ll try to love everyone and see the good in them and maybe even bring some of it out if it is hidden somewhere deep down haha. I’ll try to do more and see more. I want to write more too. I enjoy it. During 2014 I tried to post some thoughts once each month but maybe I’ll up that to two. Some people seem to enjoy reading my thoughts and I like to share them so that’s nice. I hope you’ve all had a fantastic year and I hope the new one will be full of positive vibes. Let’s keep the good times rolling. Much love and light to you all. Peace 🙂

Darren x

 

 

 

 

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About dazz22

I’m a dude from England and I’m just your average screw up of a human being
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