Earless Wirephones

The Pros and Cons of Wireless Earphones

Pros:

1. No more tangled wires. Tangled wires are a major pain in the ass. You can have wires sitting doing nothing in your pocket all day having placed them in there in a neat fashion. Yet they will find a way with their own will to tangle themselves. If you’re in a hurry and just need to pick a song and be off on your way and your earphones are tangled this can make you late and means you start your journey already frustrated. And that’s before you even encounter the rest of the world and all of the problems in it.
2. Wires can get caught on things like door handles or maybe even your own hand when you fling them about in an animated way. This causes the earphone to be pulled out of your ear and abruptly impacts your enjoyment of music for a few seconds. It is irritating and you will tut a bit. Always seems to happen at the best part of a song. Often I will punch the door that did it and then have discomfort in my knuckles too.
3. They look cool. There is just something quite nice about this technology. No wires and yet the music is beamed into two little earbuds. People with wireless earphones are more likely to be successful people who live happy lives. Even if we are depressed we can use this technology to portray an image of happiness and act above our social status. Wires are an ancient and primitive technology and it is important to keep up to date.

Cons:

1. They lack wires. Whilst you don’t have to deal with tangles or the abrupt pull out of the ears by bastard door handles, you do have to face up to the reality that the earphones are now facing danger during their every moment. If they fall out of your ear you may step on them causing irreparable damage. Or they may fall down a drain or a toilet. And then you have no more music until you buy new ones or go back to them old ass wires. They are also more easily lost and can be sucked up hoovers without you even knowing.
2. They require charging. They’re usually fine for short bursts of usage. But an extended period of use can often lead to 0% battery and then you have no music. This is extremely disadvantageous when you currently really want to listen to music as you find yourself without the ability to listen to music. Unless you play it aloud like a total uncouth asshole. If you had wires the ability to listen to music wouldn’t have ended and you would be happier and more willing to be kind to others.
3. People cannot tell you have earphones in as easily without wires. As it is less obvious that you are listening to music people may still try to talk to you. However your ability to hear the rest of the world has been greatly diminished and so you will not hear them and through no fault of your own you will ignore them. And yet they may not know why you are ignoring them. This can cause them to be angry and may lead to violence. In extreme cases this situation could escalate very quickly and lead to either minor or major impacts to your health. In the worse cases imaginable this could actually lead to you being murdered. It is a very significant disadvantage as if you had wires maybe they would have seen them and so wouldn’t have ended up angry and so wouldn’t have killed your punk ass. Plus often with wires you may have heard a person speaking to you but you have an obvious and visible reason of why you may not be able to reply. Therefore you can ignore them without fear of possible death.

Conclusion

Overall I think it is very difficult to decide whether this technology has improved lives or not. It’s a close argument. There are some serious disadvantages. Often new and improved technology actually leads to a decrease in the standards of products being made. This may be due to nostalgia though and as nostalgia is a minor brain malfunction it is difficult to determine whether or not standards have actually decreased or if you are lying to yourself.

I think on the balance of it they are just about worthwhile. Sure, they may end up flushed down the toilet and they may run out of juice just as a Beethoven masterpiece is reaching its crescendo. BUT…they do look cool. Looking cool cannot be understated in its importance. Without looking cool you will not get anywhere near as many likes on Instagram. Likes on Instagram can literally lead to you getting paid vast sums of money and that can lead to you being rich enough for private healthcare. This could be the difference between life and death if you get cancer. And it’s for reasons such as this that it is such a crucial topic. So for your own sake get out there and get some wireless earphones before it’s too late. Put up with the occasional toilet flushing them away and the batteries dying. Your life could depend on it. Just keep the volume down. As no amount of likes can protect you from a murderous asshole on the street that you’ve just ignored.

Think about it and make the right decision.